


An Extensive Survey of Kink Synchronization

by CurlicueCal, LaughingStones



Series: Shadowbound AU [10]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Collars, Daemons, Demonstuck, Dirk POV, Dom/sub, Gamzee pov, Humanstuck, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Sex Toys, Soul Bond, Subspace, magic as science, oral kink, private discussion of kink :3, public discussion of kink, reference to past jake/dirk, shadows as daemons/familiars, voyeurism/exhibitionism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 15:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16066379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlicueCal/pseuds/CurlicueCal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingStones/pseuds/LaughingStones
Summary: In which Dirk needs a distraction and obviously sex paperwork is the answer.





	1. Chapter 1

Dirk had made the first move on Gamzee mostly as a distraction from the impending day, but he'd long since forgotten that by the time Gamzee was sucking marks into his throat, making soft, hungry noises against his skin.

“God,” Dirk muttered, and put a hand on the back of Gamzee's neck. “Hey. You wanna maybe try a toy or something this time? Get our creativity up in this bitch?”

“Toy?” Gamzee said, nuzzling breathlessly under Dirk's ear. “Fuck yeah, my brother, you know I'm all about that creative shit but, uh, what's toys got to do with it?”

Dirk drew his brows together.

 _Oh my god,_ Hal said.

Kurloz shifted slightly where he lay half-encircling Hal like a thicket of thorn vines, but offered no input Dirk could hear.

“Like. Sex toys. Dildoes or vibrators or some shit.” Dirk pulled back to study Gamzee’s face, the slowly widening eyes and parting lips.

“Whoa,” Gamzee breathed. “You got some of those special-ass fuckers?” Then he frowned. “I thought as they were all at being mostly for ladies, like.”

 _Oh my god,_ Hal repeated in worshipful tones. _Angelcake. You sweet, sweet summer child. This is going to be fucking fantastic._

“I definitely have some of those,” was all Dirk said, dryly. Temptation was like a drug.

He’d had a whole plan for this, a one-two-three strategic reconnaissance for easing your boyfriend into the ‘what if kink’ concept in baby steps, don’t dump all your weird hobbies on people at once, Dirk, nobody likes a surprise kink avalanche—but Gamzee was a bright humming note of curiosity, tentative excitement curling through the resonance like a finger up Dirk’s spine, and he could feel all his good intentions slipping away under the force of that hungry attention.

“...Wanna see?”

\---

“Holy motherfuck,” was what Gamzee said, five minutes later, staring round-eyed at the collection Dirk had spread out on his bed. It wasn't even half the stuff he owned, but Dirk figured he'd better save the esoteric shit for after Gamzee had mastered the idea of your basic dildo. He’d managed to put the brakes on at least this much.

Dirk nudged a vibrating egg into line with the rest. “Holy, not particularly, and mothers, definitely not. Amazing fuck, yes.”

Kurloz slipped through the items on the bed, shadow tendrils circling around Hal to poke at the spread with lazy curiosity in a way Dirk was very much not going to think about right now. Beyond the bed, other tendrils branched out to explore and lay claim to the room, curve back and loop lazily around the two humans on the floor.

Gamzee slid a glance sideways at Dirk, seeming torn between fascination and puzzlement. “So, like…” He picked up a heavy, silicone vibrator and waved it vaguely at Dirk. “I mean, I motherfuckin’ know what a dildo's at being, brother, but what's the point when I got the real thing right here?” The dildo dipped in its wave to indicate Dirk, or more specifically, Dirk's crotch.

Dirk bit down a smile. “I mean, yeah, my throbbing man-meat _is_ pretty great. But there are advantages to having options.” He stepped in closer to Gamzee, and Hal edged up the bed on the other side. “And quantity.”

 _Dirk only has one dick; it’s very sad,_ Hal chimed in.

“It does mean I can’t fuck your mouth and your ass at the same time,” Dirk deadpanned. He tapped a finger on the blunt head of the vibrator.

He was close enough to watch Gamzee’s pupils blow, a soft huff of breath coming out of him as his mouth dropped open. His wide eyes went from the vibrator to Dirk and he swallowed. “ _Oh_ ,” he said, staring hungrily at Dirk, and that seemed to be all.

Heat coiled low in Dirk’s gut.

“Plus, you know. There’s always other fun bonus features to play with.” He ran his finger idly up and down the shaft in Gamzee’s hand, watching his face. “Big. Small. Ridged. Plus five to boner vibration.” A tap, and Gamzee jumped a bit as the vibrator started humming in his hand.

Oh. That was… a _good_ expression.

 _What’s your poison?_ Hal purred. _Not like mecha-dick-analogs are the only thing on the board. Got a whole beginner’s kink buffet right here._ His shadow arm swept out to begin pointing out items on the bed. _You got sleeves, that’s basically like the inverse of a dildo right there. Gags and cuffs if you like bondage stuff. Cockrings if your cock likes bondage stuff. Buttplugs, just what the name says. Ooh, prostate massager, that one’s fun. I don’t have a prostate myself, but Dirk certainly seems to like it._

Gamzee was staring at the spread of sex toys and the friendly native guide, mouth still hanging open. He threw Dirk a sideways glance, thumb absently stroking the still humming vibrator in his hand, and shook his head, looking back at the toys.

“Holy motherfuck, bro,” he said. “I ain't even ever had the _hearing_ about some of this shit before. I got no faintest clue where to start with it all.”

“Mm.” Dirk tucked his hands, carefully, into his pockets. Took a firm fucking hold on his libido. “Sorry. Don’t mean to be pushy or… presumptuous or whatever. This shit is obviously all completely optional and extraneous bonus content, available on a no strings basis.” 

Hal faded slightly. _We can take it down a notch?_

Gamzee frowned from one of them to the other, still looking utterly bemused and bewildered, and Dirk shoved his libido down harder. He almost startled when Gamzee snorted and stepped up against him, hooking both arms around his neck. The resonance hooked him a heartbeat later, familiar grab and tug at his core, startlingly intimate before he settled into it. It felt… not cautious or anxious, not like he’d been worrying. 

“Motherfucker,” Gamzee said in Dirk's ear, nuzzling his neck, “did I say as I wasn't chill with it?” Through the resonance, sharp interest mingled with a healthy dose of hot, hopeful need, twining around Dirk like some kind of overly-friendly metaphysical soul-cat, only a faint tremor of sheepish uncertainty woven through the chords. “Hell no we're not stepping down any notches. I am well and surely fucking intrigued and you are going to tell at me exactly what shit you're thinking at with all this. What you're into, what you motherfucking want. What, uh, what's the point of some of this shit.”

Dirk blinked a bit dizzily across the room, fingers ghosting along the hem of Gamzee’s shirt to his waist, automatically seeking for more skin. He swallowed to clear his voice. “Think I could see my way to helping you out with that.”

Hal hummed. _I can give you a hint._

Dirk bit down a smirk.

_The point involves orgasms._

Gamzee snickered into Dirk’s neck and nipped at his earlobe. “Naw, for real, bro? Don't have much truck with those!”

“Oh, well if you’re looking for orgasm _denial_ ,” Dirk said, still trying to smother a smile, “I could probably help you out with that, too, but we might wanna expand our safeword negotiations and pre-kink check in and shit first.”

Gamzee groaned against his skin. “That shit just takes up _time_ , though, can't we just get to the good parts?”

“I dunno, bro, you want me to just guess?” Dirk gave in, let his smile slip into a smirk as he slid fingers up along Gamzee’s sides under his shirt, crowded him back towards the bed. Pinned between Dirk and his shadow, and all of them encircled by Kurloz. ...Good, just right, perfect.

Dirk considered the flicker of heat under his fingertips, sliding through his brain, the distant jitter of nerves under it. “That’s a little dangerous, don’t you think? Could get you all worked up and needing, keep you on the edge, leave you hanging.” The uneasy twinge slid farther towards distress. Dirk’s fingers rubbed soothing circles even as he leaned in, dropping his voice to murmur against that soft spot right under Gamzee’s ear. “Might be fun to have you all desperate for hours like that. All day. All week?”

The whimper Gamzee let out sounded distinctly dismayed. Kurloz shifted, coiling in closer around them, and maybe Dirk was getting _too_ used to Gamzee’s scary-ass shadow-brother, because the increased buzzing tension in the room didn’t really read as a threat so much as a promise.

“A brother wouldn't get that far up in his cruelty, would he?” Gamzee said, pulling back a little, big unnerved eyes on Dirk's. “Wouldn't make a poor brother suffer so long, not for no motherfucking reason.” Quiet uncertainty mixed with mounting distress in the resonance.

Dirk turned his head to press a kiss to his jawline, and then took a step back, hands lingering on Gamzee’s waist, holding the connection. “Not if you didn’t want to. Not for any reason. Hashing things out first just helps avoid missteps. What’s your color, sweetheart?”

Gamzee's eyes swept his face and some of the uncertainty ringing through faded. “Green,” he mumbled, smiling a little.

 _Green like a dandelion,_ Hal commented. _The stoplight system doesn’t work if you play camouflage with it, you know._

“No motherfucking camouflage,” Gamzee grumbled, head ducking at Dirk's raised eyebrow. “You motherfucking _said_ you wouldn't, so it's cool!” He nibbled his lip, dark eyes lifting to Dirk's almost shyly. “...'Sides, how's a motherfucker meant to get his disgruntlement on when a brother's all to be calling sweet names at him?”

Dirk… stuck for just a moment, caught in those eyes and the honey bright drench of the resonance combing warm, sticky fingers into his abdomen. He blinked, looked away, looked back, and found himself suddenly wishing very hard for his shades. He should… do something. Right? Say something. Appropriate, soft--or would that be too contrived?--it probably didn’t count as heartfelt if you had to think about it, that was basically the Hallmark card of seduction at that point, here, take this artificially manufactured sentimental cliche, I embossed it on a card for you and everything.

 _You’re an idiot_ , Hal said.

 _I know_ , Dirk sighed, private and internal. “So anyway. How’d you feel about doing a kink checklist or something? Do some sexy sex paperwork, get this shit properly hashed out.”

Gamzee's grin looked almost involuntary, the way it tugged at his mouth. “Aw shit, bro, the bureaucracy even got to sex now, huh? Gotta get through the red tape and shit, get your papers in order.” He sighed extravagantly, looking down at Kurloz's lazily curling sprawl around their feet and up again at Dirk. “I guess? If it's all at being a thing as you think we oughta.”

“I am a stickler for rules.” Dirk lifted the corner of his mouth. “It’ll be fun. A learning experience. Like Sesame Street.”

_Bro, I have some important news for you about Sesame Street._

“No, I’m pretty sure this is how that show went.”

Gamzee was snickering at them both.

“Trust me,” Dirk said, hand slipping down to hold Gamzee’s even as he headed for the computer. “I am the genius mastermind of kink. Everything is gonna go precisely according to my evil plan. My sexy evil plan. Which is exactly but nonspecifically parallel to the educational masterpiece that is Sesame Street.”

\---

This was not going according to plan.

A decent set of checklists had been easy to track down--Dirk had half a dozen of various flavors saved in a folder. He could probably have chosen a less extensive one to start with. But. Well. He’d had a full scale interrogation itching under his skin since… basically the night he’d met Gamzee. Nagging curiosity, invasive, fascinating questions that segued seamlessly into fantasy when he let his attention wander, and he’d had months to ponder the possibilities, to turn around all the pieces and hints he’d collected so far of what types of things might catch Gamzee’s interest. To touch himself a frankly embarrassing number of times, alone and guilty in his room, while Hal mused aloud about his own hypotheses.

He had an open invitation, a list of somebody else’s questions, and enough plausible deniability to hang himself on.

The long form list it was.

This was where things started to go off track. For a start, Gamzee showed a distinct disinclination to allow Dirk to withdraw with his copy of the list to the other side of the room.

“The whole point of the checklist is to find out how we each feel about this stuff _first_ and _then_ figure out the mutual logistics. It doesn’t work if you check to see how I feel about stuff before you answer.”

“What, you saying I'm gonna copy off your paper, bro?” Gamzee said, amused. “Come _on_ , just--I don't even got my know on of most of this shit, don't make me get to yelling across the room at you. It's all sexy stuff, right? So let's get sexy,” he finished in a lower voice, leaning in to breathe in Dirk's ear.

Dirk leaned away, giving him a flat look. “It doesn’t work if you try to soulbond it out of my head, either. Anyway, that’s what the ‘maybe slash neutral’ option is for.”

 _And Google_ , said Hal.

Gamzee's sultry look turned sulky. “Fucking fine, whatever,” he mumbled. “Where's a motherfucking pen, I will _not_ get to using my art pens on this shit.”

Dirk gave him a pen, well aware Gamzee had plenty of ordinary ball point pens that would serve. In this mood, if asked he was just as likely to look innocent and insist they were all favorite art pens. Quicker and easier not to argue.

Gamzee fiddled with paper and pen for long minutes, restless and truculent. Dirk could tell when he finally settled in to giving the list his attention, because a grin broke across his face not long after. “Motherfucking ‘obscene words,’ bro?” he said, catching Dirk's eye.

“Fuck yeah. Gotta be careful,” Dirk deadpanned back.

“Wouldn't wanna kill off the mood with a misplaced ‘motherfucking fuck me’,” Gamzee agreed, and went back to the list looking much more cheerful.

 _So,_ Hal said, clearly to Dirk, but not bothering for privacy. _Are you actually gonna fill out your list or are you just gonna watch him?_

Gamzee's eyes flickered sideways to Dirk, without quite raising his head, then went back to his list, a little fixedly.

 _Creeper,_ Hal added.

Dirk flushed and pulled his eyes away. _I’m just... interested._ And making sure everything was going okay. Checking to see if there were any problems or confusion to troubleshoot. And, okay, looking for reactions to psychoanalyze.

Dirk turned firmly to his own list. It was familiar, the checklist of kinks feeling almost prosaic at this point, but there was always something intimate and interesting about filling these out with a new partner in mind. He worked quickly through the introductory section, checking through a range of mild kinks (foreplay, dirty talk, biting, hm yes) without really paying attention, and his eyes kept wandering back to Gamzee, who was chewing distractedly on the end of his pen, frowning faintly.

Dirk licked his lips, re-focused yet again.

 _Excuse you, you absolutely are not a green light on romantic music,_ Hal put in, and Dirk tensed before realizing Hal had troubled himself to curl his mental edges in for privacy.

 _Excuse you, but I absolutely did not ask for your help,_ Dirk returned. _It’s *background* music, it’s *fine.*_

_You didn’t ask and yet here it comes on a silver platter. Intentional romance as a kink? You’d think yourself round in circles til you broke out in hives and you know it._

Dirk flushed, eyes darting guiltily over to Gamzee, and colored harder when he found Gamzee studying him, still locked out of the mental exchange, but clearly sensitive enough with his ridiculous metaphysical eavesdropping superpower to be aware of something passing from Hal to Dirk. He looked firmly back to his paper.

 _It would be embarrassing for everyone,_ Hal added. _What do you think the odds are you could give yourself a panic attack if things went just right?_

God, his shadow-brother was annoying. Dirk adjusted the answer on his paper, moving resolutely onwards through the next few.

_I’m thinking 1 in 50._

_You can shut up any time now_. 

Dirk's gaze flickered back to Gamzee, now blinking in puzzlement at his list.

“What the motherfuck does hotdogging get at being,” Gamzee said blankly.

Pfft. “Buttsex without penetration. Between the cheeks.” He couldn’t resist; he waggled his eyebrows, solemn-faced. “Wanna get some meat between these buns? Work some sexy ketchup action all over this picnic?”

“Nah, just mayo,” Gamzee said absently, looking surprised and then thoughtful. He shrugged, looked down and marked something on the paper. “Mayo fucking everywhere, just white shit spattered all up the trees…” he murmured, and was absorbed again.

Dirk blinked at him.

 _There’s an image,_ Hal said, and Dirk found himself suppressing a smile as he checked through the next few options.

It proceeded pretty much like that. They’d gotten a third of the way through the lists, Dirk increasingly distracted, Gamzee peppering him with more and more questions, apparently just to watch his reactions, by the time the knock came on the door.

Dirk’s tension level immediately went from zero to approximately nine thousand.

Oh. Right. This.

The thing he’d been distracting himself from in the first place.

Gamzee followed him to the door, kink list and pen in hand.

Dirk swung the portal open and, yep, there was Jake. Tall and handsome and beaming that smile he used when he was determined to play as oblivious as possible. His shadow looked incredibly stiff. “Hey there, chum! And Gamzee, cheerio! Thanks again for the helping hand. John’s on his way with the U-Haul, and then we’re all right and ready to move in next door!”

\---

Gamzee was on his third box in from the truck, shouldering past John and his giggle-ass shadow in the doorway, and Dirk was still a pile of twitches and jitters all disguised up as a normal fucker. Couldn't even be to guessing what had him all twisted up so it was radiating off Hal like that. Wasn't like the tension was at being a new thing exactly--he'd been tensed up and edgy over something for like a week or two now--but this was by far the worst he'd been yet.

It could be that he just didn't get on with the new brother, Jake, despite that he’d named him friend and said at how they used to be close way back. Could be, except Dirk was the kind to needle and snark if he didn't like a body, and Hal moreso, and they were fair to standing on their heads to be friendly and calm and unintrusive right now. Not so far as to have Hal tucked away all staticky-strange, like for public, but careful and awkward nonetheless.

Jake’s own shadow-bro was standoffish in an entirely different way, just hanging close to his brother or keeping out of the way to the edges of things, a stiff-limbed contrast to his brother’s outward manner that all but radiated shyness and discomfort with the situation. Far as Gamzee could tell, anyway. The lurker-bro had turned out the be one of the quieter-type shadows, the ones that sounded like a murmur half not in the same room, or maybe like they’d already mastered Hal’s trick of turning his edges in all masked. Restfully quiet company, for certain, but not much help in casting light on his brother’s thoughts. If the brother was on the same discomfort page as his shadow-bro he was friendly and smiling up a storm over top of it.

Dirk and Jake sure made a pair for feeling one way and being at getting their act on a completely different way. A solid motherfucking puzzlement, but not one Gamzee had the key to, so he shrugged it off and tried to ignore the way the tension in the air made him all prickly, made Kurloz just a little more watchful and ready to snap. Not his business, not unless Dirk wanted to be at sharing. Not like the list he had folded up in his pocket. That was just as much a puzzle, but the key was near at hand.

“So bro,” he said, setting his box by the others in the main room and frowning at Dirk. “Like, slutty clothing, I got that, okay, but what the fuck even is _roleplaying in costume_ doing here, like, I'm not all to being the theater type of brother? Ain't that the deal where you're like, making as if you're killing goblins and dragons and shit?”

Behind him, John made a strangled kind of laugh as his shadow started cracking up. Gamzee blinked back at them, smiling a little.

Dirk was frozen midway into setting his own box down. 

“What’s all this about theater?” Jake asked, coming down the hall from the back bedroom, shadow-bro close at his heels. “Are you trying your hand at some of the good old Shakespearean shenanigans, Dirk?” When Dirk remained frozen, Jake turned a smile on Gamzee, apparently ignoring some murmured comment from his shadow. “Don’t let him fool you with that pokerface of his. In the right position Dirk here is a deft hand with the whole acting ballyhoo! Be lovely to get him on the public stage. Bloody criminal I’ve never managed to convince him to try a LARP with Jane and me, but you can’t fault a gent for being the private type.”

Dirk’s box touched down with an audible thump. 

John was muffling laughter into both his hands, which didn’t make much of a difference when his shadow-bro was doubled over behind him and Gamzee could hear his delighted cackling.

“Actually, we’re discussing erotic roleplay,” Dirk said, and Jake wheeled back a step. “Although I appreciate the vote of confidence. I’m sure the stellar reviews will be very helpful to my future career.”

“Wait,” Gamzee said, head tilting as he puzzled through this new turn. Dirk blinked his attention belatedly back to him. “Erotic like what, like you're all to be at _pretense_ of having sex? Why the motherfuck…?”

“Actual sex, make believe roles. I think pretend fucking during fucking would be entirely too meta for me.”

 _Pssht. Sounds like a challenge_ , Hal said. _Bet we can get this sex, like, at least 7 layers abstract. Full on in-sex-tion. The dicks have to go deeper._

“Well!” Jake said loudly, and then promptly retreated. Dirk’s eyes followed him out of the room.

Gamzee decided to go on letting whatever that was be not his problem. The other topic continued to be pleasantly distracting, if bewilderingly sideways in a Dirk-ish kind of way. “Huh! Okay, but like… why? Explain it at me, bro, cuz I didn't have a clue at me about the toys either til you made all clear. I get it now,” he added just in case.

“Oh my god,” John breathed, and his tone was entirely different than the tone that Hal had just said it in.

Dirk’s eyes cut to him. “We maybe wanna table this for later. Don’t want to disturb the neighbors.”

“No, no!” John said, biting his lip in a way that did nothing to stop the grin he was all at wearing. He flapped his hands and gave them both guileless eyes. “I’m interested. This is interesting. Don’t mind me.”

Gamzee eyed him. “Bathroom's down the hall there if a brother gets too much of his _interest_ on.”

John’s eyebrows went up, then his grin widened and he bounced on his toes. “Thanks! I’ll keep it in mind.”

Dirk’s face remained bland as he directed his shades at John, who rocked back slightly on his heels but held the grin.

 _Well there’s no way this is going to get out of hand_ , Hal commented. 

“The general idea is to pick roles that explore a fantasy dynamic both parties find titillating,” Dirk said finally. “So, say, cop and cat burglar, sexy maid and master of the house, space explorer and alien tentacle monster. The usual.”

Gamzee lifted his brows and glanced down at Kurloz where he was pooled possessively around Gamzee’s ankles, occasionally snaking out a tendril to explore the room, but mostly content to keep strangers well and out of his brother’s space. Gamzee thought they might could manage 'alien tentacle monster’ if it was wanted. He couldn't really see _why_ Dirk might want it, unless like he was all to be missing Kurloz's touch spread up through him. Easier ways to get that than play pretend, too, and why the fuck would anyone want the rest of it?

“If like, somebody's got a thing for cops, I guess?” he tried. “Or like wants to be one.”

“Thus fulfilling a lifelong dream of lots of boring paperwork and occasional abuse of power,” Dirk said dryly. “Nah, bro, it’s not preschool ‘what I want to be when I grow up’ show and tell. It’s usually more about… excitement? Interesting power dynamics. An excuse to fuck around a bit. Like--hm.” Dirk’s eyes flickered over to John, and he cut himself short.

“What?” John chirped, still making innocent eyes over top of a grin that was suspicious as fuck. His shadow bounced behind him. “I’m listening.”

Dirk’s brows twitched together. Wordlessly, he turned and headed back towards the truck full of boxes. After a startled second Gamzee trailed after him, glancing back to where John was looking like he’d just won a hand of cards. His shadow-bro was snickering again.

 _Like pushing someone around or getting pushed around, getting cuffed, threatened, manhandled, whatever you're into,_ Hal picked up so John couldn't hear. He sidled up alongside Gamzee as they walked, moving in pace along the wall. _High stakes sexy bantering and headgames. Without the actual high stakes._

“Huh,” Gamzee said, starting to be intrigued. “So like, you set it up so the shit you like is gonna happen, but… different than usual?” He could maybe see, when he thought about it, how Dirk might go for something like that, an excuse to get pushed around like Gamzee knew he liked. Gamzee wasn't sure what his own opinion was on maybe _being_ a cop, even in pretense--made a weird squirm set up in his stomach, thinking on it--but could be worth a try if Dirk wanted it.

“It’s like picking out a movie to watch,” John offered at their shoulders. “Except you’re in it.” He dropped his voice conspiratorially. “And there’s sex.”

“So, porn,” Dirk said, as Gamzee threw a glance at the brother following at his heels. Dirk's voice sounded dry enough, but there was a ripple of emotion out from Hal, something complicated and tangly. Amusement, assessing interest, dismay. Regret chased close after.

“Probably way motherfucking better than the normal type’s all to being, too,” Gamzee said. “The acting sure can't get at being worse.”

 _Sounds like a challenge,_ Hal said, even as Dirk said, “I could take that bet.”

Gamzee snorted at them both. “I dunno, brother, never been to mistaking either of the two of you for motherfucking cardboard cutouts with like, pre-recorded lines coming out.”

“Oh baby,” Dirk said mildly. “Give it to me harder. You’re so big.”

Gamzee snickered and they set to unloading the next few boxes as Dirk and John fell into a competition of who could come up with the worst porn lines. John didn’t seem to have any more of an off switch than Dirk did when it came to ridiculous oneupmanship, and Gamzee had a few suggestions of his own, so the whole thing was starting to get a bit out of hand by the time Jake reemerged. He looked thoroughly flummoxed by what he’d walked into.

Dirk fell silent and awkward. John looked guilty. Gamzee fought the urge to duck completely out of the house at the sudden uptick of tension from all the shadows the room, Kurloz sweeping in around his feet with a sulky, warning snarl.

“I’m tired,” Jake said after a moment, “of these damn lemon stealing whores.”

Whatever the hell was going on, that seemed to fix it, and not long after the conversation got to being all up and at the cheesiest movie quotes, with John and Jake arguing over whether they were actually cheesy all the while.

\--

Poking his way down the list in odd spare moments turned out to be a lot more fun than Gamzee had expected it to be, mostly because the most innocuous questions could get the best reactions out of Dirk. Could kinda get a feel for Dirk’s own stance on various things, too, though Gamzee could tell he was still trying to be cagey about that. Let Gamzee form his own opinions or what-the-motherfuck-ever. It made things twist uneasily in stomach, made him feel tense and jittery all through.

 _Don’t fucking see what the need is,_ he sulked to Kurloz. _Rather go along with what he's all at wanting than kick up a fuss about some dumb thing as doesn't hardly matter._

 _You'd let him bind you,_ Kurloz rumbled low and annoyed, _let him treat you harsh as pleased him until the last of your ease fled and I must rise to rend and devour. The brother's wiser than you; he'll guard you from your own permissiveness, and yield unto you exactly what you wish, as is right and proper that he should._

Gamzee pressed his lips together sulkily and settled for springing another bedroom-oriented question on Dirk just when he knew it would make him blush.

John was also a fair amusement. Gamzee had only had vague familiarity with him from that single semester Gamzee’d spent on campus, and what all stories Karkat would get to telling sometimes, but the brother turned out to have a wicked sense of humor, a taste for flirtation, and a disposition to take what insult returned to him in good stride. A good half of what he added to Dirk's and Hal’s explanations was actually kinda helpful, too, even if it was offset by the other half, which Gamzee was pretty sure was straight-up fabrication. Didn’t hardly fuss about Kurloz either, although his curly-changeable shadow-bro also showed no inclination to let him too near.

Jake seemed like to be friendly enough, too, all up in his cheer and bounce, real smiley but not fake with it. The lingering disconnect between his demeanor and the tense wariness of his shadow-bro set Gamzee a bit on edge, but there didn’t seem to be any sort of malice in it. Just--shy, mayhaps? And trying to be friendly despite. Like right now, when he bounced up to the kitchenette where John was shuffling through boxes and Dirk and Gamzee were shelving dishes.

“Look who I just turned up in the bottom of the bathroom boxes! I wondered where this little fellow had gotten to!” 

“Is that Captain Snoop?” John asked, poking his head up from his box tower.

Jake beamed and waved a coconut sized contraption around. The item in question, some kind of… mechanical… head type thing bobbed merrily. “Sure as tooting! Dirk, do you remember? You made him for me back in--oh, it must have been all the way back in junior high, before you started taking all those accelerated classes and just whizzing along through.”

Dirk was staring at Jake, face all pokery-blank, Hal projecting that same complicated tangle of emotions from earlier. _(Surprise, pleasure, want, regret, anger, distress, confusion--)_

Jake’s own shadow’s tension grew when Dirk didn’t respond immediately, and Jake cranked up the grin another notch. “Here, I wonder if the little gent still works. I’m sure he does, you always did tip-top work, perfectionist that you are.” He crouched, still chattering a nervous string of praise that made Dirk all tangly, to place the thing on the floor, fiddling with some unseen controls. His shadow-bro clung close around his ankles and back. “Bloody amazing, I always thought. There, look!”

Gamzee leaned in to see the robot-- a sort of head and shoulders on wheels, complete with tiny three-cornered hat-- go skittering along the linoleum, be-hatted metal head nodding solemnly the whole way, until it bumped into the counter, turned, and proceeded in a different direction.

“Fine as fiddles,” Jake pronounced cheerfully. 

“Huh.” Gamzee grinned at the little thing and then over at Dirk, still crouched over his box. “Cool, bro!”

“It is indeed a miracle of science,” Dirk said blandly. “Like a roomba. But less useful.”

“Oh, don’t talk yourself down, mate,” Jake put in earnestly, reaching over to clap him on the shoulder. “I was terribly impressed when we were kids. You’re an impressive kind of fellow.”

Dirk went still under that touch, flushing, and from this angle Gamzee could see him blink behind his shades, see his eyes dart from Jake to the hand on his shoulder and back. Hal stood a pace behind his brother, equally frozen, though the emotions roiling off him were anything but. Pleasure and uncertainty and an achy kind of adoration—and then all at once Dirk sort of… startled, eyes darting to Gamzee, and the feel of Hal in the room snapped closed, aura curling away into a staticky, inaccessible buzz like Gamzee hadn’t felt off him in ages.

Gamzee did some blinking of his own, trying not to frown too openly at the dark shape of Hal at Dirk’s shoulder, sitting right there, but miles distant. Kind of got a touch of unsettlement all sliding through a brother, them going into hiding all abrupt like that. Especially when as best Gamzee could figure, Dirk was all manner of discomfort and confusion at the moment. 

Gamzee regarded the still awkwardly chattering Jake all half-lidded and thoughtful a moment--and then Kurloz snorted and stretched out long across the kitchen floor, slipping so close to Jake that he lost what he was saying mid-word, drawing back a polite step all automatic. Kurloz paid no mind, just bent around Jake barely enough to leave him breathing room, and sprawled between him and Dirk in a possessive half-curve of tangling shadow coils. Gamzee met Jake’s startled gaze, shrugged, and turned a bright, lazy grin on Dirk.

“So, what the fuck is pegging all to being? Don't motherfucking tell me some fuckers get at using tent pegs or some shit when they fuck,” he added with raised brows.

Dirk opened his mouth, closed his mouth, and then just kind of… froze.

Jake edged back from Kurloz, brows up high. His shadow-bro was pressed in tight around his ankles and up along his back, murmuring low speculation so quick and soft Gamzee couldn’t make out more than the feel of it. “Not tent pegs, no. More the standard kind of salacious accoutrements I think. Er…” His eyes darted rapidly from Dirk to Gamzee, eyebrows staying up. “Hm. I get the impression I should maybe. Make myself scarce for a bit. Um. I’ll just go--I’ll just go pick us up some chow, eh? I suspect everyone could do with a nice tuck in.” So saying, he turned tail and made for the front door, snatching up John along the way.

John frowned at them over his shoulder, shadow-bro a wordless buzz of speculation. Gamzee could hear John starting in on a pepper of Jake-directed questions before the door even closed properly behind them.

Gamzee set narrowed eyes on that closed door for a second, sharp irritation for the state Dirk was all in mingling with reluctant appreciation that the brother had enough sense to get the pair of them out of the way. Not that Gamzee could see any sense that Dirk was so wound up over nothing. He turned the frown down on Dirk, where he crouched near his meandering robot, still unreadable, Hal still locked down tight and silent to Gamzee’s senses. He was watching the door.

That was… fine. Irritating. A whole bewildering tangle of feeling. “My brother--” Gamzee started, and Dirk’s attention snapped back to him. In the startled paused that followed, Gamzee watched his weight shift back ever so slightly before he squared right back up again like he was bracing for something. That was… that seemed not right. It stopped Gamzee in his first impulse, kept him back a step or two and not reaching out to touch, to try to see inside. 

“Hey, bro,” he tried again, softly. “What's the motherfucking haps? You went all locked up tight, and here you are still all tense and closed away and no wicked fuckers even looking at you here. So?”

Dirk looked down. “It’s fine.” Gamzee didn’t have a chance to let his doubts be known on that, because Dirk was already correcting himself talking harsh and rapid. “ _Sorry_ , it’s obviously not fine, but it’s stupid, and it shouldn’t be an issue, I don’t mean it at all, and I’m just--I’m messing this up, sorry, I’ll get this straightened out in a minute.”

“Hey,” Gamzee said again, and dropped to crouch in front of him. “All as is messed up just now is you, bro.” He lifted a hand to Dirk's face, slow, watching for any hesitation. Dirk just frowned down at his fingers, unmoving, and Gamzee touched him soft. His thumb rubbed Dirk’s cheek along the harsh edge of his shades, and resonance slid up through Gamzee in a stuttering, off balance dissonance, alarm and guilt and resolve all twisting on each other til they led right back to alarm, a cruel little spiral that spiked higher each time it went around.

Dirk’s face turned back to Gamzee, wide eyes visible behind the shades this close, gone tense under his touch like he might bolt back at any minute.

“The fuck you doing to yourself in that head of yours, all hid away so I can't hear,” Gamzee murmured, and Dirk gathered himself a bit.

“Pretty sure you’re doing some listening, bro,” Dirk said, words accusatory, but the feel of him through the resonance anything but. All tentative blooming want, and Gamzee leaned in, still slow and careful so Dirk could pull away if he liked, and kissed him, not deep and hot but gentle, coaxing, soothing as he could make it.

The spinning thoughts slowed and stilled under his hands, not gone but quieting, sharp edges smoothing away. Gamzee sighed, pulling back with reluctance. Last thing he wanted to do was rile it all up again, but it kinda seemed like he ought to know what the fuck.

“Listen as I might, I can't be at hearing words and reasons like this, can't read them off your skin or out the spinning chime of you,” Gamzee pointed out. “Gotta get all that straight from your lips, my brother. You feel like handing out some sweet clarity at me here?”

“Yeah, I…” Dirk’s fingers moved in restless circles where they’d risen to Gamzee’s sides soothing at the skin there. “Just kinda. Oh for fuck’s sake, I’m doing this so badly. I’m sorry, I’m just. I’m over here having all these fuckin’ complicated _feelings_ for my ex, and it’s not fair to you, and then I’m doubling down on it by getting evasive and letting Hal go AWOL on the honesty broadcast, and to top it all off here I am being a complete basket case about everything and making you have to deal with even more bullshit.”

“Uh. Whoa,” Gamzee said, kind of blankly. Dirk was doing that thing he did where he mounded up a whole heap of imaginary fucking offenses against a brother and used them to flagellate himself, and normally Gamzee was all manner of committed to talking him down from that cruel shit, but just now he was a mite distracted.

“He's all at being your ex?” he said, blinking at Dirk.

The resonance winked out as Dirk leaned back and it was only Kurloz’s encirclement and the kitchen cupboards behind him that kept him from breaking completely away. “I told you. I did, I know I did, I said we were--and oh my fucking god I didn’t even manage to say that straight out, I hedged, I totally never said it in words, I’ve got you over here helping my _ex move in next door_ and I didn’t even get my fucking act together enough to--”

“ _Dirk_ ,” Gamzee said. “Motherfucking _chill_.” He frowned a second, studying the anxious dismay in the crimp of Dirk's mouth, the tension of his brows. “You planning to pick it up with him again, set me back on my own?”

“ _No_ ,” Dirk said, quick and certain. Hal moved forward beside him, hand half reaching out.

“All right then,” Gamzee said, all the edges of him settling back together. He smiled, easy and peaceable. “No trouble by me, brother. I mean, even if you wanted to get back with him, I'd be chill so long's, you know, you still wanted _me_ around too, but him just living next door? Why am I gonna get up in my nerves and anguish over that?” He frowned abruptly, tilting his head. “Except that you do. Bro, you're a motherfucking wreck and they been here all of an hour. You really good with them _living_ here?”

Dirk stared at Gamzee blankly for a long minute and then dropped his head, shoulders slumping as he huffed a breath of laughter. “...Wow.” He glanced up at Gamzee, eyes golden through his lashes over top of his shades. “I am… really stupid.”

“Nah, brother,” Gamzee snickered and raised a hand to ruffle up his spiked hair. Dirk sputtered, grabbing for his wrist, then just held it. The affection sweeping through the resonance just about bowled Gamzee over, it was so sweet and strong, chiming through with relief, catching his breath up. He leaned in to drop another gentle kiss on the brother and got a bit further distracted, blinking dizzily by the time he pulled back.

What the fuck was he all at thinking to say. Oh, right. “Just--fucking hell, bro, drop a couple words off at me instead of winding yourself the fuck up for like, a week and change, next time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dirk said soft, still holding Gamzee’s hand all cupped down against his jaw now. That affection was still swirling through Gamzee like a drugging haze. Better than drugs. He wanted to lose himself in that feeling for _weeks_ , let it drag him under and sideways until he didn’t know which way was up. 

“Gamzee, I--” Dirk started, then stuttered out, flushing. “You know I--” He was tensing up again, thoughts going tangly and circular, increasingly self-castigating, even through the haze of affection. “I. Nevermind. This probably isn’t the right time.”

 _He’s in love with you,_ Hal put in, thoughts unfurling again to Gamzee’s perceptions. _He loves you. That’s what he’s fail-boating at actually verbalizing._

“Wow, fuck you,” Dirk snapped.

“Aw, brother,” Gamzee said, smiling all soft on him, and stroked a thumb along Dirk's jaw. “Trust you to up and get your bright-shining self all turned to barb-wire knots over such a sweet and simple thing.” He leaned in to brush a kiss at the corner of Dirk's mouth. “I did get the knowledge of that all on me,” he added, softer. “We got us a lit-up beacon to blaze between us, all the warm gold fire of it here,” he laid his other hand on Dirk's chest, over his heart.

Dirk blinked up at him, flushing. “Yes, well. I.” The dazy-stunned flutter of him gathered into something like truculence. “Hal loves you, too. Since I noticed he didn’t want to say that.”

Hal flared briefly abashed to Gamzee’s senses before the emotion flipped over into insolence. _You mad, bro?_

“Maybe you could stick to micromanaging your _own_ life, did you think of that?” Dirk said.

_It seems you are getting unnecessarily defensive. I’m just your shadow after all. We have the same life. Yours._

“And yet nobody asked for your input.”

_Did when you summoned 27 of us into your trainwreck of a soul._

Gamzee snorted at the two of them. “The pair of you can up and get your chill on, stop your nervy prickling. Cute dumbass motherfuckers, like I'm gonna be at missing such a sweet truth as you all aiming love at me. Like I wouldn't be aiming mine your way long since.” He ducked in, planted a kiss on Dirk's forehead, and stood up, casting a thoughtful eye over the boxes half-unpacked. “If that’s all up and straightened. Should I get to be sticking these dishes in a cupboard, maybe?”

Gamzee could feel Dirk’s eyes tracking him. The brother looked around and then let out a sigh. “Yeah, probably.”

 _The dork squad will be back soon,_ Hal said. Dirk’s little robot wandered past him, bumped into a cupboard, and wandered back toward the corner.

“May as well be at doing some work before food shows up,” Gamzee agreed, and set to pulling out stacks of matched bowls and plates and setting them on the counter to load into a cupboard. “So hey,” he said after a minute, “all hung up as you been. You sure you got no want on you to hook back up with the brother? He's kinda cute.”

Dirk eyed him kinda sideways like he was looking for a hidden meaning to the question. Gamzee just grinned and raised his eyebrows.

“Mm, no. Pretty sure I burned that bridge.”

_Went back, razed the countryside, salted the earth._

“Stampeded the horsies.” Dirk was smiling a bit now, although sharp-edged. “I’m very thorough when I fuck up. I’m a completionist.”

“Dunno, brother,” Gamzee said. “Thought as much my own self and been to finding shit’s still salvageable by some weirdass miracle. Say it is, would you wanna?”

The edges melted away from Dirk’s smile and he just looked introspective. “Nah. We didn’t really… work. I mean, he’s my best friend, I’ve always been stupid about him. Was _extra_ stupid back in high school--first crush and all that jazz. Hormones and stupidity. A lot of stuff that go-round was probably fixable. Like, we got together for like, a year in high school and that was _right_ when I was on my high horse about all my fixing people shit and right before I bonded Hal and Jake didn’t even have a shadow at all then and _damn_.”

Dirk started ruffling through boxes, grabbing dishware to put away. He seemed more comfortable to be having this conversation with a task at hand, like any of a hundred conversations over kitchen chores or projects in the living room, Kurloz looping out around them in the room, and Hal chilling right up in Gamzee’s space.

Gamzee was paying attention to what he was saying, for sure, but his eyes were caught by some of the nice shit in those boxes, a double boiler and some sweet stoneware baking pans. Damn, that was a nice motherfucking cake mold.

“Crashed and burned,” Dirk was going on, and Gamzee hastily tuned back in. “Honestly kind of surprised we made it a year? Was pretty nasty by the end--Jake started avoiding me for like, a whole summer; I finally cornered him and said a bunch of dumb shit I didn’t mean; and then I went off to college two years early and we basically didn’t speak again for ages.” Dirk was frowning into the silverware drawer. “But we fixed it, it was _fine_ , and then Jake and the girls started college, and he was around again all the time and we went and did it all _again_.”

 _Fell right back into bed,_ Hal muttered. _Literally tripped and stumbled onto the D._

Dirk groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “Yeah, it was real dumb and we figured that out real fast, fortunately before everything got fucked up again. And now we’re friends, but it’s just. Weird. Hard. Like I think we only halfway remember how to actually _be_ just friends and not ‘stupid fuck up couple that makes themselves and everyone around them miserable.’”

“Well, shit, bro,” Gamzee said, contemplating the tangle of tension and discomfort he'd been at noticing with the two of them in the same room. It matched up pretty solid with all as Dirk described, well and thoroughly explained the difficulty. “That fucking _sucks_.”

Dirk snorted. “Yeah. It’s--getting better. This _is_ better. Or it should be. We _work_ as friends.”

 _When you’re not chasing your own dumb asses round in circles._ Hal leaned against the counters near Gamzee, apparently comfortable enough to start idly poking a toe at Kurloz. 

Dirk rolled his shoulders back agreeably. “Hypothetically, anyway. I think mostly we’re just not-- compatible the other way. Conflicting relationship needs. He needs a lot of space and I get--kind of grabby.” Dirk glanced sideways at Gamzee from behind his shades.

Gamzee nodded solemnly, stepped sideways to where Dirk was digging around in the silverware he’d just unpacked, and grabbed a nice handful of his ass, squeezing gently in a meditative fashion. “Got an appreciation for some grabbing my own self, at times. Could be as that's why we work so good, yeah?”

Dirk snorted and jutted his ass back into the grip. “Hmm. Could be. Probably gonna need more data.”

“Hell yeah, get that scientific method all working for us,” Gamzee said, groping enthusiastically, and then remembered what they were up and doing and sighed, forlorn. “...Soon, I guess. Not motherfucking yet.”

Dirk peeked over his shades long enough to slip Gamzee a wink. “Save it for later, cowboy. Good science takes time and precision.” He turned away to rummage through a box. “Gotta confess I’m looking forward to comparing those data collection sheets.”

“Oh, right,” Gamzee said with a little frown, fishing the folded up list out of his pocket. Before he could get far on it, Dirk tugged on the back of his shirt.

“You can do that in a minute. First help me hide all the forks.”

\---

They’d timed it poorly so that a bunch of the bigger items wound up having to get their move on in the hottest part of the afternoon. Gamzee figured after the sweltering task of helping wrestle the reclining sofa into the house (albeit with a bit air-conditioning provided by John’s shadow-bro) he deserved to lounge on it and chill a little. He pulled out the list to look over while he was at it, calling the occasional comment to Dirk as he passed by, just to spice things up.

“Hey, bro, you got your enjoyment on well and good when I made you beg, yeah?”

Pausing in his tracks, Dirk looked at Gamzee, looked over to where John’s eyebrows had gone up and Jake was suddenly hunkered over a glass of ice water pretending not to have note of anyone in the room. Dirk looked back to Gamzee, pokerfaced. “You are terrible for my air of mystery.”

_That’s code for ‘please, yes, bend me over a chair and make me ask nicely.’_

Dirk turned a very pretty shade of red, but otherwise didn’t react to his brother’s commentary. Gamzee grinned at both of them, nodding thoughtfully.

“So then, I bet you'd like it if I up and got you in a collar, yeah?”

Across the room, John’s shadow went _oooh_ , exactly like a kid at a candy store. Clearer than Gamzee had heard him yet, Jake’s own shadow-bro murmured, _yeah, probably._

He’d up and got their attention now--neither of them were pretending not to be watching, and only long practice kept Gamzee from glancing their way at the comments, but he was more interested in Dirk. 

Dirk who was staring down Gamzee with a pose that said he’d taken up a challenge. “S’pose you’d have to try it and find out. I can be kind of a handful.” He tilted his head meaningfully. “Think you’ve got what it takes to keep me in line?”

Gamzee's grin broadened to something sharp and filled up with teeth. Kurloz snorted soft in the back of his head and swept across the floor to all but engulf Dirk and Hal both, a dark tangle of thorns and promises.

“Figure I do,” Gamzee said cheerfully. “Up and done it before by my recollection, and no great trouble at it. Don't you get on your worry, brother, I'll put you on your knees easy.”

“Could be. And yet,” Dirk added archly, “you are supposed to be thinking about what _you’d_ like.”

 _Is that what you want?_ Hal asked. _Dirk on his knees? Asking pretty for you?_

“After all, we could always try the other direction. How do you feel about a nice collar? Maybe a little bell?”

Gamzee snorted appreciatively, all amusement. “Sure, brother, why not? That so’s I can't be sneaking up on you?”

Dirk just lifted an eyebrow. “Cute evade, bro. But you can’t always turn it back on me.” He headed back to the far bedroom with his armful of rolled posters, blithely ignoring John’s pretense of innocence and Jake’s thoughtful frown as he passed. Kurloz reluctantly gave way bare inches before his unhesitating stride, and drew back to sprawl across the wall above Gamzee's seat on the sofa.

“Jake,” Dirk said with an air of determination, and Jake jumped where he sat and seemed briefly to consider bolting. Dirk paused in the doorway, making meaningful eye contact via shades. “Come show me where you want these, ‘k? Otherwise I’m plastering your whole room with upside down blue ladies.”

Jake stared at his disappearing back like he’d been set a more daunting task than poster management, exchanged some silent, bracing commentary with his shadow-bro, then squared up with his own breath of determination and followed after.

Gamzee frowned after them both, a mite sulky. He _hadn't_ evaded, he’d up and said it'd be fine and why not, and there Dirk was acting like he'd been avoiding making answer. Completely unfair.

 _He asked if it up and pleased you,_ Kurloz said, mild irritation prickling in the shift and play of him. _Not a single thought did you give it before offering up surrender on the matter. Could be he's a firmer motherfucking grasp of your tendencies and needs than you get at having, precious little fool that you are._

Gamzee huffed and glared up at his shadow-bro, who had no fucking call to come out with insults over nothing, but Kurloz rippled over the wall and gave back nothing but exasperation and boredom. Fucker.

Still scowling, Gamzee bent over his list, found the bit about being collared, and marked it _yes_ defiantly. He checked off another positive on collaring Dirk and moved on, reading down one line after another. A whole load of weirdass things to do or try, and only guesses at what all Dirk might be pleased to do or might find _not_ pleasing. Made picking yes or no or maybe a mite more stressful than otherwise. Gamzee made peace with it as best he could by picking 'maybe’ for most all the things he didn't have much liking for, as well as any he'd no fucking clue what it got at meaning.

Some things he did know.

Ice dropped into the pit of his belly when he saw _sensory deprivation (total)_ , and he had to get on his breathing all careful and steady, look up at Kurloz near at hand, to remind himself he was all at being fine and good and well entire, no need to panic. John's shadow was laughing near at hand, humming movie themes as his brother manhandled his way through bookcase assembly. Dirk and Jake's voices could be heard faintly from the other room. Gamzee’s pen hung over the page, hesitating over _maybe, probably not,_ and _hard no_.

 _Little brother mine,_ Kurloz growled at him, _tell at me that you've the sense not to lie when your truth’s already known. He's got the awareness up on him already that you've no appreciation for the dark, and motherfucking_ total _deprivation includes_ sight. _You got more wisdom and cleverness to you than that, so get to using them._

Gamzee pouted at him, but he'd admit marking down _hard no_ swept a tide of relief through him.

 _Orgasm denial_ made him pout at the page like it was offering a grievance, which it motherfucking was by the mere suggestion. He would've put down _maybe_ , except Dirk had gone and brought it up that very day, and with Gamzee whining at him all _aw brother no_ , there was no way he'd believe anything but _no_ now. Fine, then. Gamzee marked down _probably not_ and called it good.

Some suggestions offered were… startling. Gamzee stared for what had to be five minutes at least at _have partner lick my anus_ , face hot enough to burn the fuck away, hastily marked down a _yes_ , although carefully the lesser yes and not the _hell yes please_ so as not to be demanding, and moved on quick.

 _Humiliation (public)_ made him chew his lip, stomach all twisting up in knots at the thought of it. No clue what all that might entail, how someone might set to doing that apurpose, but just the sound of it had him cringing. Didn't seem like the sort of thing Dirk would enjoy, but… could be you couldn't know a thing like that about a person without you asked, and Dirk was all stubborn on not asking or answering until this damn list was done.

He hesitated over it a long time before marking down _probably not_ , shoulders hunched, and going on, head low like someone might be watching, judging his unwillingness.

A few lines down he ran across one that made his head rear back in true motherfucking offense. He marked it _maybe_ after glaring at it a bit, but when Dirk came back through the living room Gamzee raised his head and pointed a stern finger at him, full ready to stand his ground on this one count. 

“Dirk, brother mine. Dear as your pleasure is to me, we will _not_ fuck on my counters, not ‘less we get to scrubbing them down good and _thorough_ afterwards.”

Dirk offered one startled beat of silence. “Break my heart,” he said after a moment, but not like he had any real feeling of it. “Will no one ever fulfill my dreams of cooking debauchery?”

“Never,” Jake said, passing between bedrooms. “You’re a madman, Strider.”

It struck Gamzee with some relief that the tension humming off their shadows had dropped down to only the faintest lingering buzz. Guess Dirk had finally got his fixing voice on at the problem ‘stead of just stewing round silent. Fuckin’ A.

Dirk turned a deadpan stare on John.

John beamed back all innocent. “You could always try my dad.”

“Your father is a very handsome man, John.”

John’s smile melted and he folded forward over his half constructed bookcase as his shadow made disgusted noises. “Oh god, gross. No. Why would you _say_ that?”

“A very handsome man with two handsome sons.”

“We’re adopted!” John shouted from out of sight behind the bookcase.

“And a very appealing kitchen.”

“Oooh, yeah?” Gamzee chimed in, interest suddenly caught. “He bake?”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up,” was all John said.

“Like a chiseled god among mortal men,” Dirk informed him solemnly. “You’d like him.”

“Shit, I motherfucking bet,” Gamzee said, pleased. Now he could guess where some of that sweet cookware in the kitchen boxes up and came from. He shot a look at where John was all hid, then grinned at Dirk. “We gotta get us a threesome, bro, get access to his baking pans and shit.”

Dirk smirked. “Mm, yes. Sweet, sweet baking pans. Exactly what I crave from a sexy man-meat threesome.”

John made another appalled noise. “We have pans you can _borrow_. Take all of them. Whatever you want. Just please stop.”

“Sweet,” Gamzee said, making a mental note. He had motherfucking _designs_ on those stoneware muffin tins. He moved on down the list, blinked. Raised his head again.

“What the motherfuck is sounding?”


	2. Chapter 2

For all the move-in atmosphere had gotten better once Dirk actually had a conversation with Jake (turns out communicating about your hang-ups like a grown up actually helped, who woulda thought?) it was still a relief to retreat back to the security of their own half of the duplex after an early dinner. Security and privacy and Gamzee, who had been entertaining himself being an _evil_ fuckin’ tease all day long.

Not that Dirk had complaints. Just a certain pressing topic in his pants. An issue of some weight and girth that he would like to place on the table for discussion. A point of interest, as it were.

They both settled into the business of finishing up their lists, after a little prompting when Gamzee would've preferred to forget that and just get to the important stuff, but Dirk was 98% certain if he let that slide, the list would never get finished, period.

So, finishing those, and then they could… share with the class.

Dirk kept finding his eyes sliding up to glance at Gamzee, and he could tell himself he was just checking in on him all he wanted, but god if his mind wasn’t half full of images and little flights of fancy; hungry, heated thoughts that cast greedy eyes along copper-brown skin, the curve of his neck, that ridiculous tangle of wild hair. Gamzee’s head raised like he could hear the thought, and his eyes caught on Dirk’s and struck sparks like flint. 

Dirk swallowed and ducked back to his list, checking off about ten more items with a great deal less care and attention than they probably deserved. He set the papers down on his knee with finality. Yay. Done.

It took about ten minutes more of Gamzee fidgeting and glancing up at him and occasionally doing something with his pen on the paper for Dirk to climb out of his libido-fueled haze enough to begin to… suspect. To maybe analyze the situation with more unbiased eyes. It shouldn't have been a surprise Gamzee was putting off being done with it, given that he'd seemed jittery about the entire prospect to start with. 

_Shouldn’t have pushed_ , whispered a tiny voice, and it was always fun when he didn’t even need Hal to voice the harsh truths from the corners of his mind. Dirk could feel his shadow-brother’s presence, hovering and beginning to tangle with nerves and recrimination, but oddly silent. Not even a shielded, privately voiced suggestion or critique. Apparently they _both_ had no idea what to do.

Okay.

Dirk tapped his fingers on his knee, shifted a bit to put more space between himself and Gamzee on the couch, even as he turned to face him. Gamzee startled and looked up.

“We could set these aside for a while,” Dirk said, and winced a bit at how loud and unsure his voice sounded in the room. “I mean, if you’re--if you didn’t want to. We could leave it for a few days. Or forever, I guess, I don’t mean that you have to do it--I know I was kind of--”

“You wanted it, though,” Gamzee said, frowning at him. “And I said as I'd up and do it. Just…” He raised the hand holding his pen, ran fingers into his untidy curls and scratched distractedly. “We gotta test through _all_ of this motherfucking noise, bro? Cuz _damn_ it's a lot.”

Dirk blinked. Looked down at the multipage list on his knee and then back up to Gamzee, eyebrows quirking in. “It’s not a _to-do_ _list_ , bro,” he said. “We don’t have to test through any of it at all. There’s not gonna be a sex completion grade or some shit.”

Gamzee's head tilted slowly to the side. “...Oh,” he said. “It's just like, for ideas and shit?”

“Yes,” Dirk said, and wondered briefly when this situation had gotten away from him. “Or--sort of? It’s a--it’s a landscape. Like a map of the terrain so nobody wanders too far into ‘here be scary sex dragons’ territory, unless they’re like, super into sex dragons. It’s--” Dirk struggled a bit, pulled out a kernel of honesty-- “boundaries.”

 _Dirk likes rules,_ Hal commented. _Makes him less incessantly angsty about whether he’s crossing lines._

Gamzee's eyes widened and his smile looked a little uncertain. He glanced down at his list and up again at Dirk. “Huh,” he said.

Dirk shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. “But I mean. ‘I don’t want to fill out an umpteen-page interrogation on my sexual interests’ is also a boundary, so.”

“I'm… good by that,” Gamzee muttered a little ambiguously, shrugging, checked off two final things and handed the whole thing over. He still looked distinctly tense, but if he didn't want the out--any of the outs--that had just been provided, Dirk wasn't really sure what else might help.

For lack of a better option, he handed his list over in exchange and, feeling a bit like he was peeking at things he shouldn’t be, started scanning through Gamzee's. A lot of _sures_ and _maybes_ , no big surprises... 

Dirk’s eyebrows went up in puzzlement when he hit the bondage section--he was pretty sure they'd previously established that Gamzee wasn't into being held down or having his hands tied or any of that, so it was… odd. Suspect. That Gamzee had marked those _maybe_ or _probably not_ with only one _hard no_.

In fact… He skimmed down the list, eyebrows lowering the farther he went without running into any _hard no_ s. Not many soft ones, either, now that he was looking for it, almost everything was _maybe_ or a yes of one kind or another.

“Gamzee?”

Gamzee looked up, twitchy and visibly nervous. “Yeah, bro?”

Dirk considered his options. He was pretty certain accusing him of lying on this list was not going to go anywhere good, and honestly, arguing with someone about their sex yeses and nos was kind of its own form of pushy manipulation no matter what direction you aimed it. On the other hand…

 _What are boundaries how do,_ Hal muttered and Gamzee twitched and blinked again.

Dirk looked back down at the list, lips pressing together in thought. No, it was fine. He could handle this. Don’t push him on it. If he just kind of… mentally shifted the answers over a notch, treated _maybes_ as _nos_ and _yeses_ as _maybes…_ “Mm. Never mind. How you doing over there?”

Gamzee's eyes flicked over his face, searching, and then he relaxed and grinned. “I was motherfucking right about getting you in a collar,” he said smugly.

Dirk bit his lip against his own smirk. “Sweet-talker. You say the nicest things.” He tilted his head and Hal sidled closer, up along the couch to lean in barely brushing against Gamzee. “Noticed you put a greenlight on collars yourself. Maybe I should get you into one. Think you might like that? Me getting a collar around your neck, marking you mine?”

Gamzee twitched, pupils dilating visibly. “Oh,” he said sort of hoarsely, staring at Dirk, and shrugged jerkily. “Could be a thing as we could do.”

Dirk bit his lip harder as a shivery pang of want thrummed through him, Gamzee’s startled hunger burning into Hal where the shadow brushed him and on to resonate in Dirk. 

_Check that off as a yes_ , Hal murmured, smug. 

Gamzee snorted at Hal, then frowned and went wide-eyed and startled. “You sneak-ass motherfucker,” he said, snickering, and reached over to flick Dirk in the arm. “All being to get your eavesdrop on.”

“Turnabout is fair play,” Dirk hummed. And then, testing, feeling his way forward: “You liked that. Do you want to be mine?” Gamzee’s breath hitched and that shivery grab and pull ran through the resonance again, lit something in Dirk’s gut as Gamzee nodded, dark eyes intent on him. Possibilities fanned out before Dirk, bits and pieces of things he’d had all day to dwell on. Damn, he wanted to try everything. “You don’t like rough, would you be good for me? Let me do whatever I want?”

A pang of unease flared up, and Gamzee's nod was cautious this time. That was _something_ , Dirk guessed, although a verbal codicil or even _not immediately agreeing_ would've been better. He tamped down irritation. “Mm,” he said noncommittally, observing Gamzee through his lashes. “I’m sure you would. Anything I asked. Right?”

The unease shivering through the resonance grew, mingling with a little flicker of interest, another one of anger, suspicion. Gamzee's eyes swept over Dirk's face, searching, before he nodded uncertainly. “Yeah, brother, I'm willing at it, whatever you get the desire on you for.”

“Could hold you down and have my way with you and you’d just take it.” The words came out low and sharp-edged, heat like a half-burnt coal in his gut.

Gamzee flinched, eyes on his face.

“Tie you up,” Dirk persisted.

Hal shifted uneasily, shadow hand sliding down to curl around Gamzee’s wrist. Protective or restraining, even Dirk wasn’t quite sure which.

Somewhere at the back of his head, Dirk was waiting for Kurloz to chime in, to sweep down off the wall behind the sofa and surround Gamzee, send angry ripples of impending doom slipping through the air around them. All that happened, though, was a single tendril of shadow snaking down on Gamzee's other side to curl along his arm there. Nothing more in the air than the usual prickle of Kurloz's presence.

Gamzee's shoulders were hunched and he shook his head, huddling down. “You don't--want that, though. You got no want on you to get at doing that, bro, you--” He stopped, swallowed, eyes lifting back to Dirk's face. “You said. Right?”

“What I want--” Dirk stopped. Drew in a shaky, uneven breath. “I want a lot of things. I think I said that before. Maybe I do want it. What then? You just going to give it to me? You think that’s the only thing that I want?” He tapped his fingers on his knee, on the papers. Dropped his voice. “What else did I say?”

Gamzee's eyes dropped. “Lots of stuff.” He chewed on his lip a minute. “You said… you only wanna up and do shit as we’ll both have on our enjoyment of.” He glanced up at Dirk and away again, licking his lips. “You said you want motherfucking… _boundaries_ from me, brother, I can't hardly name a boundary to my own self, much less tell you what it's all at being!” He waved a dismayed hand, shoved it into his hair. Didn’t try to pull free from where Hal still captured his other hand. “I wanna motherfucking do right by you, but I don't--I'm _shit_ at this, bro, I can't--I fucked it up.”

He looked up at Dirk, shoulders slumped, eyes miserable. “Sorry, I… I don't fucking know how to… 'M sorry.”

Anger faded out of Dirk in pieces. “Hey.” He hesitated, rocking a bit in place, and then scooted closer, into the place where Hal still clung close to Gamzee, letting his shadow-brother slide over his skin. “I’m not--I’m bad at this, too. Worse, probably.”

 _Watch out, you’ve challenged him to a fucking-shit-up competition,_ Hal murmured. _He’s gonna come for your life._

“I’m not,” Dirk said, aggrieved.

_You are. You’re trying to one-up him right now. It’s not cute._

“I’m just _saying_ \--” He softened his voice again, glancing at Gamzee guiltily. “I’m just… saying. That’s all. You didn’t fuck anything up that isn’t at least as much my issue.”

“Yeah?” Gamzee said, and cautiously reached for Dirk's hand, like maybe Dirk wouldn't want to touch him, or be touched. Dirk laced their fingers, overlaying Hal’s grip. He leaned to settle their shoulders against each other. It felt awkward, a gesture with too much thought behind it, but… nice.

“Yeah.” He lingered for a moment in the warmth of the contact, the way Gamzee all but melted into the offered touch, tension slowly uncurling both from the lines of his body and that inner sense of his mind, where it thrummed and purred against Dirk’s. “I’ve got a lot of paranoia about… crossing lines and being needy. I think I mentioned.”

“Yeah,” Gamzee sighed. “Fucking sucks, cuz I don't… like up and drawing lines. No fucking good at it, never was.” He leaned a little harder against Dirk, pressing closer, and frowned at his knees. “...Still doesn't make it all good that I fucked it up like that. I gotta, I… I can be to making it up to you, though.” He looked over at Dirk. “If you want, I mean.”

Dirk’s eyebrows went up.

 _Hoo_ , Hal said softly.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need to you elaborate on that. Think we might be on different pages.”

Gamzee blinked, confusion coming through the resonance as clearly as it showed on his face, followed by startlement and sheepishness. “Oh, motherfuck, no, brother, I just meant--we can, if you want--” he swallowed, nodding to the papers in Dirk's lap, determination crystallizing in the buzz of nervousness. “We can fix it. Go through and, and you can ask me all as what I'm to really be thinking in all actuality, and like, note it down. So you'll know, like you wanted.”

“I got the impression this whole business was a lot more stressful for you than I would have guessed.”

A snorted laugh burst out of Gamzee like it'd been under pressure. “Holy fuck, my brother, you motherfucking _think?_ Gotta sort out my thoughts on all this shit as I ain't never even had a clue was a thing, previous, gotta say yes or no without even I can know your own sway on the matter first, gotta--” he took a breath, “gotta say you _no_ on shit when could be a thing as you _want_ and I'll get at denying you and I don't even fucking _know_ until we sit down here and look it over, and I--” He broke off, breathing hard, and rubbed his free hand over his face.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Yeah, I. Yeah. Kinda.”

“Mm, yeah,” Dirk said. “That sounds. Not fun. When you put it like that. Christ, bro.”

_The point’s supposed to be *less* pressure and bias and shit. Not secret blindfolded minefield._

“Mm,” Dirk said again, sunk in thought, a pinch in his brows. “You’ve been okay saying yes and no pretty clearly to stuff before, though. I mean. I thought maybe that was getting easier.”

Gamzee shrugged uncomfortably. “It's got… a fair set of difference to it, speaking on a thing with you, like, working out the good and bad of it so’s we both see it clear, instead of…” he glanced at the list again. “Doing it all lined up real quick, without a word with you.” He bumped Dirk gently with his shoulder, shaking him loose from that problem-solving frown. Gamzee met his eyes with a half-smile curling his lips. “You help me get my ease on with it, bro.”

Oh.

Dirk found himself caught, wordless and struck, and it was absolutely ridiculous the littlest things that could throw him off-balance, all suddenly flustered and dizzy. He cleared his throat, licking suddenly dry lips. “I--good. I’m--I can do that.” He rallied. “Face-to-face and not all in a row. That’s pretty straightforward. It’s not as if we’re on a time limit here. We couldn’t do all these in one night if we _tried_. And we’d be very sore afterwards.”

Gamzee snickered in startlement. “Fuck! Yeah, all worn down to panting shreds.” He gave Dirk a thoughtful look. “Not that I got the smallest little speck of objection on me to getting _you_ worn out like that. But one of us has gotta be able to walk afterwards to get the other fed and all.”

“A noble sacrifice, I’m sure.” Dirk placed a hand to his cheek. “Please take good care of me, senpai.”

“Aw, you know it, bro,” Gamzee said, grinning, and leaned over to kiss him. “Take you out for ice cream,” he said, pulling back to nuzzle Dirk's jaw, “let you wear my jacket, take you home and give you some motherfucking anatomy lessons…” He got distracted sucking on Dirk's neck.

Dirk let his head fall back against the couch, threaded fingers into Gamzee's hair to hold him close. Perfect teeth, wicked tongue. He was going to have another mark. He wanted a whole ring of them.

“So, question,” he started. Gamzee started to lift his head and Dirk’s hands automatically clung. Gamzee laughed softly and stayed put, dropping little kisses on his skin and nuzzling. “Nn, yeah, please,” Dirk huffed. “But the collar thing. You seemed to like the idea. What part of that was working for you?”

“Uhh,” Gamzee said, and a flicker of blank confusion came through the resonance before he apparently remembered which collar thing, exactly, Dirk was talking about. “Oh!” he added, with a shivering chime of hungry, hopeful want. His breath gusted warm, lips ghosting over the sensitive skin under Dirk’s jaw. “Just, like. You wanna like, stake a claim on me like that, bro, it's kinda all to be saying you… maybe won't be to kicking me to the curb any time soon. Like, maybe you wanna _keep_ me for a bit.” Even as he spoke, little threads of uncertainty woke and snaked their way through the hope and the hunger. Doubt, guilt for some reason, quiet anxiety.

Dirk’s grip firmed. “Yeah. Not letting go of you, sweetheart. For more than a bit.” His thumb stroked, nudging at Gamzee’s scalp as he tilted his face up to look at him. “You not clear on that yet?” 

_Seems we’re falling down on the job,_ Hal murmured, sliding forward from where he half overlaid Dirk to slip his own fingers into Gamzee’s hair, shadow fingers dark between Dirk’s, and with the overlap Dirk could suddenly feel it like fingers in his own hair, a half-there brush of his thumb like it was stroking his own head _._

 _Disgraceful_ , Hal went on. _Gotta do better than that._

“Mm, yeah,” Dirk said, and the tremble of emotion through the resonance matched the way Gamzee shivered, ducking back against his neck, pressed in closer, all but climbed into his lap. Lit coals and set them burning in Dirk’s gut. Why exactly had he been worried he wouldn’t know where the lines were, know what was wanted?

He bit his lip, tucked his head down against dark curls. “Because you are mine, aren’t you? For as long as you want to be.” 

“Yeah,” Gamzee mumbled fervently, pressing himself up against Dirk like clothes and skin and separate bodies could all maybe stop being a thing, they could merge into one entity and then he'd be close enough and content. “Yeah, brother, yeah, long as you want me, yeah.” He let out a long, slow breath and nuzzled Dirk again, kissed just under his ear, that weird ghost sensation of warm skin against his lips at the same time.

“I keep telling you,” Dirk said, and he could feel his lips curving up, feel the smirk and the thrill of power and the relief of being almost, _almost_ certain, “I want a lot of things. And I think, right now, I really wanna wreck your shit.” His fingers rubbed at Gamzee’s scalp, grip firm as he directed that mouth to where it felt best. “Would that be all right? Would you tell me just what you like? Could I lay you down and take you apart and make you feel so good for me?”

The shock of heat coming through the resonance was a lot clearer than the soft huff Gamzee made against his skin, but then he breathed out all shivery and said, “Fuck _yes_ , bro, for fucking sure you can be to doing that!”

Dirk smiled. Hal smiled. “Fucking sweet.”

\---

The buffet of sex toys was still spread across Dirk’s bed, and he found himself snickering at the way the expanse brought Gamzee to a stymied halt. 

Gamzee gave him a sheepish grin, waving a helpless hand at the bedecked bed. “So, uh, we gonna be to needing most of these or can they maybe give a little space at us?”

“What, you don’t wanna be fucked with an audience of dildos?” Dirk batted his lashes, sweeping items haphazardly together and stuffing them back in their drawers. “They get bored all locked up, bro.” 

_They wanna meet you,_ Hal added.

Gamzee snickered. “They gonna line up for a meet and greet, get the little sandwiches and stand around doing small talk and shit?”

“Now there’s a nice idea,” Dirk purred. “I never did hear your final thoughts on pegging.” He dropped down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands to look up at Gamzee from amid a not entirely sex toy-free mattress. “And a checkmark on a list is so vague. You wanna tell me what you think of a friendly southern-style introduction or two?”

Gamzee blinked off to one side, frowning slightly. “Uhh, lessee, the brother said… Oh, right, sex with like, toys, I guess?” He shrugged. “Sure, bro, got no word against it.”

“No preferences.” Dirk nodded. “Yet.” He picked up one of the nearby toys, one of his favorites, a little vibrating plug just long enough for the curved end to hit the right spot. He ran it between his fingers, watching Gamzee, let the silence drag out just long enough for him to start to shift on his feet uncertainly. “Mouth? Ass? How do you feel about vibration?”

“Uh!” Gamzee said, wide-eyed. “I don't… fucking know? I mean--rather have _you_ in my mouth, brother, you'd be at appreciating it better. I… got no clue on me for vibrating, but like… I'll try it? Try anything once, right?”

“Yeah?” Dirk tilted his head, waved Gamzee in closer. He reached up to lightly touch his cheek, eyes half-lidding for a minute at that push-pull of the resonance evening out between them. Nerves and bewilderment and more than a little bit of hunger. Dirk slid his thumb to Gamzee’s lower lip. “You like me in your mouth?”

The hunger spiked stronger as Gamzee's eyelids fluttered and sank almost shut. “Yeah,” he said huskily. “Hell yeah I do.”

Dirk pressed forward a little with his thumb, pulled back to watch Gamzee chase it, capture it between his lips, flick over it with his tongue. God. He caught Gamzee’s chin in his fingers, bought himself a little space. “So here’s what I’m thinking. I wanna get you opened up all nice and easy with my fingers, and then help this fine and friendly gentleman get a personal introduction to your business.” Dirk raised the plug, watched Gamzee’s eyes fix on it. “See how good you two get along. Maybe try out a down south handshake.

“Then,” Dirk said, and he pulled Gamzee down, almost kissing close, the plug’s curved tip protruding between them like a very rude secret, “I think maybe I want to get you in a collar and stake that claim for real.” He watched Gamzee’s pupils blow wide. “Would you like that? Would you like it if I asked you to be good for me and tell me exactly what you like, what you want, because that’s what I wanted? Would you like it if I took very good care of you and told you just how good you were for me?”

Gamzee’s gaze hadn’t grown any less hungry. “Yeah,” he said, almost whispering, eyes round and dark and amazed on Dirk's. He was breathing hard, bent down with Dirk's hand on the back of his neck. “Yeah, my finest of brothers, that sounds… real motherfucking good.”

Dirk huffed out a breath, shuttered his eyes against a long tremble; he was having trouble telling which of the feelings twisting down his spine were his own, but the electric shimmer of desire didn’t seem to care. He pushed Gamzee back, slithered farther up on the bed, Hal moving readily with him and under him. It might have been strange how quiet his shadow-brother had gotten, but then again, they were right there on the same page, thoughts running so close together they might very well have been the same person, using two minds and one brain, perfect synchronization, and Hal didn’t need to talk when they both wanted the exact same thing.

“All right then, sweetheart. Strip.”

Gamzee gave him a breathless grin and basically tore his clothes off, dropping them on the floor, all his attention immediately returning to Dirk the second he was naked. Then he took a step closer to the bed, expression all shy, eager hope.

He bit his lip, suddenly, shot Dirk a sly look. “You know, bro, I'm a slippery motherfucker. Could be you ought to stake that claim first of all, make sure you catch me good and solid so’s you can play with me how you like.”

“Good point. I’m kind of invested in keeping you right where I want you.” Dirk rolled off the bed again, leaving Hal lounging in his place, and padded past Gamzee and Kurloz to one of the drawers he _hadn’t_ emptied for the morning’s show and tell. His fingers found what he was looking for. “But you know, I think I kind of want to hear you say it.” He turned back with a little smirk, spinning the collar idly on a fingertip because hell if he didn’t know how to put on a proper show. “What you want.”

Gamzee blinked at him, looked back at the collar like it was an effort to keep his eyes off it, up at Dirk and back again. “What I… oh.” He gave Dirk a half-annoyed, rueful little huff. “I want that you should up and--motherfucking--put it on me! ...Please?”

Dirk considered and rejected the first half dozen responses that came to mind. In the end he just crooked his fingers, gesturing Gamzee closer. He stepped in immediately, all long brown limbs and bare expanse of skin, and Dirk was still completely clothed and yeah this was going to do it for him. He reached out, almost without decision, touched fingertips to jawline and Gamzee _shivered_ all over, want striking through the resonance like he’d been tased, and okay, yes, all right.

Dirk swallowed twice to clear his throat. “Well, if you ask so nice. Chin up for me, sweetheart.”

Gamzee’s head jerked up, all hopeful hungry obedience, and Dirk put fingertips under his chin to steady him, though his hands didn’t feel particularly steady. Hal was a dark shape on the bed, but he felt pressed in close to Dirk’s thoughts, an electric overlay of a second set of hands, helping his fingers along as he wrapped soft leather around a bared throat, worked the buckle, and stepped back to observe.

Gamzee's pupils were dilated to start with, and Dirk watched as they pulsed wider yet. Gamzee blinked a few times and swallowed, looking kind of dazed. “Oh,” he said, breathy and soft. “‘S nice. Feels… _good_.” He looked back up at Dirk, dark eyes amazed on his face.

Dirk wanted to _devour him_. He took another step back instead, settled onto the bed with Hal, leaning back onto his hands to rake his eyes over Gamzee. Gamzee blinked at him dazedly. Barely touched and already half gone. God, wow. Dirk had to clear his throat again. “Well? Are you going to come here?”

Gamzee twitched, nodded and stepped forward, a faint crease between his brows. Stopped obediently right in front of Dirk, waiting. No jitters at all, he seemed to have gone still, focused down. Dirk resisted the urge to reach out immediately, re-establish their metaphysical connection to test the depths of that calm. And then he thought--why wait? It wasn’t precisely cheatingto use all the tools at his disposal. Not in the service of a good time.

Dirk slid a hand over the smooth jut of a bare hip, let his vision go slightly unfocused as he watched Gamzee’s hazy eyes and considered that thrum and shiver of emotion. Blinked. Reassessed.

Okay. Not _half_ gone, all the way gone, and holy shit had Gamzee dropped straight into subspace just from being collared?

Dirk had the brief, slightly terrifying sensation of suddenly being handed something precious and fragile that he was definitely not supposed to have and was almost certainly going to break. The rush of terror was matched by a hot, guilty wave of desire-- _mine mine mine, anything, everything (whatever I want)_. He teetered, briefly, on the precipice.

The faint prickle of Kurloz's presence suddenly took on weight, a familiar edge of menace in the air. A vining arm of shadow tendrils struck up onto the bed from the pool around Gamzee's feet, and a single line of shadow lashed out across Dirk's wrist.

 _Be you gentle with my little brother_ , rumbled Kurloz, _now he's all unarmored down to the very tenderest marrow of him, be you sweet and motherfucking careful of him, that I not be forced to split you flesh from soul._

Dirk shivered once and settled. “Yeah _,_ ”he said huskily, or maybe Hal did. _Yeah. We got this_. 

“Got _you_ , bro,” Dirk said, taking his eyes from that dangerous, stabilizing shadow loop around his wrist, a threat and intrusion and intimacy Hal wasn’t even pretending to counter. He fixed eyes to Gamzee’s, curved his hand more possessive over his hip. “And aren’t you something. You doing good for me?”

The little shiver of uncertainty and confusion humming through the resonance subsided under that hopeful heat and rising, breathless anticipation, and over all of it a honey-sticky drench of dazed, pleased contentment. 

“Yeah,” Gamzee murmured, blown-black eyes meeting his.

“Good boy,” Dirk tried out, and watched Gamzee’s lashes flutter as his breath hitched in his chest. Warmth, startled delight, pleasure flared up along their connection, an effective positive reinforcement feedback loop if anything was. “C’mere.” He urged him down, hand sliding up to catch his hair and pull him gently into reach, drag him into a slow, sucking kiss.

Gamzee moaned and kissed back, reacting slower than usual, but pleased and hungry. One hand landed soft on Dirk's shoulder, the other next to his leg on the bed, and the band of shadow that Kurloz had wrapped around Dirk's wrist drew away to coil up Gamzee's arm instead.

Dirk broke away reluctantly, licking his lips, catching his breath, and sliding his thumb around to press against Gamzee’s lower lip when he tried to chase after him. Gamzee made a little caught-breath sound of complaint, tongue flicking over the pad of his finger where he could reach. Dirk debated the option of dipping forward to explore that wet heat, see how good Gamzee could be for him with his mouth wrapped around flesh. He pulled back again instead, scooting away to where Hal waited, and patted the mattress beside them.

“C’mon. Up.”

Gamzee blinked and got onto the bed, moving slow and languid. He curled his legs under him to sit right where Dirk had patted, and focused those wide dark eyes on Dirk's face. Kurloz sprawled around the three of them, both humans and Hal, a curling hedge of darkness covering the wall above them and looping across the bed.

Dirk swept his eyes over Gamzee, kneeling there, bare except for the dark band around his throat, and had to take another steadying breath. His pants were growing increasingly restrictive, he should do something about that, but--he shifted where he sat, eyes on the pretty picture Gamzee made, and sank his teeth into his own lip hard, just to feel the hot thrill of pleasure. Not quite yet. 

Gamzee made a little wanting noise, and Dirk hummed back at him, kept his gaze heavy and hot on him. “Easy there. You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart. You’re so good. Let me just… look at you.”

Gamzee's eyes half-lidded and he shifted and went still again, his pleased little smile almost shy.

Perfect.

Hal stirred, dark silhouette of him crawling over the covers to slip up beside Gamzee, sliding careful, testing shadowy hands onto his skin as Dirk watched. Gamzee gasped softly and shifted, eyelids fluttering again, knees pulling slightly apart like even this not-exactly-physical touch was enough to please and excite.

Resonance slid back through Dirk, Gamzee's peaceful daze a foundational chord under the harmonics of want and interest, happy excitement, pleasure, and the little winding note of uncertainty almost too quiet to sense. Resonance and a distant, ghost echo of sensation, the hint of the bed’s fabric under bare skin, the not-quite-there buzz of Hal’s fingers sliding up Gamzee’s ribs. 

Dirk touched his tongue to his bitten lip. His shadow on Gamzee’s skin, and Gamzee all laid out for him in flesh and soul, and god that was a pretty sight.

Drawing in an uneven breath, Dirk hesitated, trying to assess, trying to weigh out the hungry press of what he wanted against what was a good idea. The thought crossed his mind that _this_ was exactly why he wanted lists—so he didn’t have to make complicated ethical judgements with a boner. 

He could just ask, but Gamzee was so out of it, and how far was it acceptable to stray from previously discussed terms while neck-deep in hormones? 

Oh, but...

“You said you’d tell me how you liked it. So tell me, sweetheart. Do you like this? Do you like it when I watch you?”

Gamzee had been watching Hal’s hands on him with that dazed smile, and looked up a second late to blink at Dirk. It seemed to take him a minute to find words. “...Yeah?” He frowned a little, thinking. Shrugged. “Touching's better, but…” he smiled at Dirk, voice a soft, breathless drawl. “'S yours, you get to… decide.”

Dirk closed his eyes briefly and felt the echo on his own skin as Hal slid up, a shadow embrace along Gamzee’s back. One hand stroked high along Gamzee’s chest, coming to rest just under the collar, while the other hand dipped lower. 

“Mm,” Dirk said. “Mine. Like the sound of that.” He opened his eyes again, fixed them hot and intent on Gamzee. “Would you touch yourself for me, sweetheart? I want to watch. I want to watch you feel good.”

Gamzee made a low shivery sound in his chest, eyes wide on Dirk, and swallowed. “Yeah,” he said, almost a gasp, “'kay.” One hand slid over his thigh, reaching cautiously for his dick as he watched Dirk, then, satisfied that was allowed, went for it. His hand wrapped loosely around and stroked once, twice, paused to come up so he could lick his palm wet, then started moving faster. Knees spreading wider, he reached down with his other hand to cradle his balls, thumb and fingers shifting and stroking lightly over the delicate skin.

Cheeks flushed ruddy, he kept flickering glances up at Dirk and looking down again, eyes on the shadow-hands on his body. Dirk’s own eyes couldn’t figure out where to go: Gamzee’s face, his hands, his pretty dick. That hopeful, open-mouthed little smile that curved his lips. The dark line of the collar on his throat.

Dirk shifted his own stance wider, pressed the heel of his hand to the throbbing hard-on in his pants. Sank teeth into his lower lip. Somewhere, distantly, he could feel the phantom touch of a slick hand on his shaft, feel what that hot length would feel like pressed to his own palm. Feel what Gamzee felt.

“God, you’re perfect,” Dirk said, and Gamzee hitched in a breath, tipped his head up to show more of his throat like it was an instinct. “You like that?”

That faint crease formed again between Gamzee's brows, a note of confusion ringing through the resonance. “Yeah?” he said after a moment.

Dirk hummed, lips curving up, running the heel of his hand slowly up and down the line in his pants, a slow counterpoint to Gamzee’s faster movements. “Let me hear you, then, sweetheart. Tell me exactly what you like. Or how much.”

The crease between Gamzee's brows deepened and he made a low, uninterpretable noise. A chord of effort and strain picked up in the resonance as he took a deep breath, eyes rising to Dirk's face and dropping away again.

“Like you,” he said hoarsely. “Watching me like… 's good, you like it.” He bit his lip, shifting on his knees, changed his grip as he kept stroking. Hal’s hands dropped to frame his cock and he shuddered, chest heaving for breath. “Like this,” Gamzee arched his neck to indicate the collar. “'S good.” And then he fell silent, eyes pleading on Dirk, a soft note of uncertainty trembling between them.

“I do like it,” Dirk said. “Like seeing how good you feel. Like-- feeling it.” The words came out on a little grunt of effort as he ran his hand across the front of his pants again. Shifted uncomfortably. God those pants needed to come off soon, but right now it was worth it to watch the way Gamzee’s eyes dropped to track his hand, watched his pupils darken and hand quicken as he almost squirmed in place. “And look at you being so good for me.” Gamzee made a shivery noise. “For Hal. Looks fuckin’ gorgeous on you. All marked up and collared ‘cause you’re _mine_.”

Gamzee whined out loud at that, bucking up into his own hands. His breathing rasped and he couldn't stop shifting, little hitches of his hips grinding into each stroke. His head lifted, eyes landing on Dirk's face all wide and wondering, almost rapturous, like on some vision of glory.

“Perfect,” Dirk said again, and, darker: “Good boy.” Gamzee’s eyes snapped closed and he bucked hard into his hands again. “Just like that. You look so fuckin’ good. Doesn’t that feel good? Being mine and being so good for me?”

Gamzee nodded slow and dazed, eyes still closed, hips shivering. From the echo of rising pleasure and urgency Dirk could feel in his own body, Gamzee's need curling up Dirk's spine, he must be getting close.

“Easy, sweetheart. Don’t come until I say you can.” Wait, shit, was that too close to orgasm denial? Dirk hesitated, thrown into a loop of self-doubt, but Gamzee was already taking a deep breath, head tilting back like he was reaching for control. His hand slowed in obedience, stopped for a second before he started again much slower, and he looked up to meet Dirk's eyes with his lip caught in his teeth. It was… an affecting look.

Dirk licked dry lips. “Not done with you yet. ...What’s your color?”

Gamzee blinked slowly. “Green,” he murmured.

“Okay.” Dirk settled farther. “Good. I’m going to give you a choice now, sugar; you tell me which you like best.” Gamzee continued to blink fuzzily at him, all hazy sweet. Dirk’s voice curled into a purr. “You could prep yourself, get your fingers all up in you, show me just the way you like it. Let me watch.”

Gamzee's pupils couldn't really get much wider, but he made a faint noise.

Hal slid up Gamzee’s back, tucking in close along the curve of his neck, one shadow hand brushing idly back and forth over a nipple. _Or Dirk could prep you. Do you how he likes it. Take you apart slow and careful as he wants, see what noises you make._

That got a whimper, Gamzee's head tipping back again as he gasped for breath, eyes falling shut.

“Well? Which sounds better?” Dirk hummed. “Wanna hear you ask for it.”

The dark eyes opened slowly, focused on Dirk. Gamzee let out a thin little whine, breathed for a minute. “That,” he said. “You. Please. Want you.”

God, that hit Dirk somewhere low and hot and vulnerable. “Okay,” he said, and his voice sounded breathier than he meant it to. “Okay, you got it, sweetheart.”

It took a little rearranging, and Dirk took the opportunity to strip off his tank top and finally (finally) open up his pants. Hello, throbbin’ manmeat, happy to see you too. His first impulse was to put Gamzee on his back, get him under him; wanted to pin him and hold him and watch him struggle against his own pleasure. But, no, couldn't push him past his comfort zones, had to keep him where he felt safe, all trusting and pleasured and malleable-soft to Dirk’s whims.

Dirk urged Gamzee up onto his lap instead, gathered him close as the resonance redoubled between them, slid a hand down through Hal’s darkness to cop a handful of that frankly choice ass. Gamzee moaned and arched, pushing back into the touch, hands clutching at Dirk's shoulders. His eyelids fluttered as he shifted, moving erratically, rocking forward to rub his dick against Dirk's abdomen, face all dazed bliss.

The difference in what was coming through the resonance now was kind of startling. Not just the difference of touch—the sudden flood of glowing delight, contentment, and bright, hungry pleasure was like moving from a still, deep pond to a whitewater river. The difference between ‘yeah sure’ and ‘ _hell yes_ ’, maybe.

“There you go, sweetheart. God, you’re just desperate for it, aren’t you?”

“ _Mmh_ ,” Gamzee said, “yeah, please.” He shuddered and ground against Dirk again.

Dirk kneaded into flesh, urging him to move, watching the trembling mess in his arms. “Just gonna come right apart for me. Give it all up.” Gamzee gasped and Dirk nudged up under his chin, tilting his head back to mouth along the exposed line of the collar. “You want more, gorgeous?”

Gamzee moaned softly, eyes fallen closed as he pressed into Dirk's lips. “Yeah,” he murmured, “I, yeah, please.”

“Want me to fill you up just right?” Dirk murmured, pausing to lick a line along the edge of collar and skin, tease with his teeth. “Would you like that? Being all mine and used properly and me inside you every way I can be?”

Gamzee whined, unstrung and shaky, eyes opening hungry and dazed and wild on Dirk. “ _Please_ ,” he gasped, “please yeah, yes, want that, you, please!”

God. Dirk closed his hand on the back of Gamzee’s neck, urging his head back more firmly, and sealed his lips around skin. The noise Gamzee made as he sucked a mark there was indescribable. The resonance lit through like a shining thing, the satisfaction too sharp and bright to tell where it belonged, and Dirk was breathing hard when he finally released, backing off a centimeter to lap his tongue over the abused skin. His hips rolled without thought, grinding up to find contact with hot flesh.

Gamzee whimpered, pushing forward into the contact, then wiggling back into the hand Dirk still had on his ass. He was making little “ _ah, ah_ ,” noises, all quiet and caught back in his throat, hips twitching erratically, like not only could he not pull it together to speak, he could barely _move_ coherently. Dirk was having some trouble with coherency himself. But. Right. He had a plan. The plan did not involve frotting helplessly to completion. 

Sexy, sexy completion.

 _Lube,_ Hal murmured, but not with the edge Dirk might have expected.

Right. Dirk gulped air, made himself slow, sit back to watch Gamzee and urge him to stillness as well. Gamzee made a little complaining sound but obediently stilled, pupils wide pools of darkness fixed on Dirk.

Dirk licked dry lips and had to try twice to make his voice work. “Good boy.” Gamzee blinked and shivered.

It was difficult, unfairly difficult to break away from Gamzee’s eyes to look for what he needed on the bed, but fortunately some corner of his mind, maybe Hal, had kept track of it, and it took only a moment to gather it up. Dirk uncapped the lube bottle one-handed, let his other hand slide around, probe and pull at flesh until he could tease the tip of one dry finger at Gamzee’s hole.

“There you go,” he said, rubbing there in tiny circles, and once again he couldn’t look away from Gamzee’s face, from the flutter of his lashes. “This what you want?” 

Gamzee let out a harsh breath, head tipping back, and just breathed a minute. “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “Yes, yes _please_ , I, yeah.”

Dirk couldn’t help but lean in to steal a kiss, take that panting, stammering mouth for his own. Damn, but a nonverbal Gamzee during sex was--something different. Normally the dude could reel out lines so florid and sincere they made Dirk flush down to his toes, like some kind of weird erotic poetry to Dirk's ass. And here he was, gasping, gone; all but wordless in his desperation. Dirk fought down a shiver, heat coiling in his gut. Made him feel… just a little out of control. 

Could do anything, could have anything—and maybe it was okay to feel power-drunk and reckless with it, maybe it was all right to not know quite where the lines were, when Gamzee’s want was pulling him in like a hungry galaxy, when the dangerous, lurking safety net that was Kurloz curled around them, hemming them in, a dark, indulgent hum of power that made the heat in Dirk’s gut flare hotter.

Dirk’s hand tightened slightly, plucking at Gamzee’s rim just to see his eyes widen and watch him squirm down into the touch. “Easy now,” he chided, and that was maybe a little mean, so he softened it with, “you’re perfect, just like that.” It wasn’t too hard to focus, sideline the distracting echo-sensations of touch on his own body, not-there fingers ghosting over a place where they very definitively were _not_. Dirk had a lot of practice splitting his concentration; he knew how to multitask. But Hal still fell away from Gamzee’s skin, sliding round to edge up along the headboard, along Dirk’s back, tuck himself in parallel and watch with him. Lubing up his fingers, Dirk brought them back, applying nudging pressure. “There you go, angel,” he breathed, or maybe Hal thought it, it didn’t matter. “Be good for me.”

Gamzee nodded jerkily, distracted, clinging to Dirk's bare shoulders as he held carefully still, hips shivering. “Please,” he husked, almost whispering. “Please, please.”

Dirk pressed two fingers in and listened to the noise Gamzee made. Drawing out, he did it again. He fingered Gamzee slow and relentless, working him carefully open, shushing him down when his movements and desperate noises got too out of control. Dirk’s own arousal felt both pressing and extremely distant. He wanted to push Gamzee down onto the bed and fuck into him wildly. He wanted to keep him here, like this, edging him along for hours, forever, desperate and perfect and _his_. (Gamzee wouldn’t like that, though. Be nice.)

He wanted… Gamzee.

“God, just look at you,” Dirk murmured, teeth chewing a bruise into his own lip as he let his eyes do just that. “All lost in it. You are really somethin’. You ready for a little more, bro?”

Dazed eyes opened again, blinked at Dirk, and then Gamzee caught up and nodded fervently. Didn't bother with words, just watched Dirk, eager and hopeful and needy as hell.

“Coming up.” Dirk pumped his fingers once, hard, stroking right along that inner spot and Gamzee keened and bucked hard in his arms. Dirk pulled his fingers free, wiped them on the bed, reached for the vibrating plug he’d set by his hip. It took a little maneuvering to find a position that worked well, but Gamzee went easily, letting Dirk shift him and position him like a doll, all dark-eyed and loose-limbed and obedient. That curling heat in Dirk’s gut was burning brighter and he really needed to move this along.

He reached with one hand, turned Gamzee’s chin up towards him. “Look at me,” he said, and pushed the plug in, slow and gentle but firm to get it past the wide bit. It was a reasonable toy for a beginner, not too much of a stretch.

Gamzee's eyelashes fluttered as he let out a long, shaky moan, breathing hard. He held still for a minute, chest heaving, then shifted slightly in Dirk's lap, adjusting, acclimating. Threw Dirk a cautious little sideways glance, brows acquiring a puzzled little line between them.

Dirk just watched his face. “How’s that suit, sweetheart?” He shifted it a little, made sure the tip was resting in the right place and nudged it more firmly in.

Gamzee gasped, whimpered, licked his lips. “Good,” he said, watching Dirk carefully. “'S good, 's fine.”

“It’s what you want?” Dirk asked, all faux innocence, rocking the plug in little teasing circles, and Gamzee caught his breath and whimpered again, louder. Dirk brushed a thumb over Gamzee’s lower lip. “Just how you like it?”

Gamzee's eyes shuttered closed at the touch, then opened again, eyes hazy as he gasped for breath. He raised one shoulder in a shaky shrug and nodded. Poor guy had no idea there was more to it.

Dirk made a doubtful noise, teased like he might dip his thumb into that mouth and pulled back. Gamzee leaned after it.

Hal spoke up. _You’ve got to ask if you want something, angel._

Gamzee blinked, eyes widening like it hadn't occurred to him. “Please?” he said, tongue flickering across his lower lip. “Can… please?”

Dirk hummed. “Aren’t you a good boy.” He tucked his thumb forward over plush lips, let Gamzee gasp and latch onto it, make little wanting noises as Dirk stroked over his tongue.

 _Think he could use more than that, bro,_ Hal purred, a low hungry amusement that felt like the heat in Dirk’s gut, the tight, pulsing need between his legs.

“That right, sweetheart?” Dirk slid his thumb through wet heat, pumping it with the kind of rhythm absent below. “You want me to make you feel good?”

Gamzee whimpered, tongue curling as he sucked, eyes confused but intent on Dirk. He nodded.

Dirk turned the vibrator on.

Gamzee made a sort of wheezing noise and tensed all over, staring wide-eyed at Dirk, then a second later moaned cracking and startled, hips rocking against thin air. Shock rang through the resonance, heat all wrapped up in pleasure. Gamzee's tongue had fallen still, all attention rerouted elsewhere. 

Dirk couldn’t tear his eyes away from those dark, lost eyes, tilting that dazed face up to watch each minute flicker of reaction. The heat from Gamzee felt like it was turning into a clawing thing in his chest, something hungry and consuming, and he slid the pad of his thumb into a mouth gone lax and yielding and watched lashes flutter over blown pupils and wanted to eat him alive.

He pushed Gamzee back, off his lap, hands rising automatically to soothe when Gamzee made a confused, distressed noise. Got him back to where he was kneeling, trembling on the bed between Dirk’s legs, and caught his face between both hands to keep those eyes on him, stroke fingers into his hair and hold him.

Dirk licked dry lips. “Color?”

Gamzee heaved in a breath, two, shivering all over, and the uncertainty coming through the resonance eased down as he settled, steadied out under Dirk's hands and reassurance. He opened his mouth, blinked, that strained crease coming back between his brows with the effort.

“...Green,” he mumbled finally, and gave Dirk a transparently hopeful look.

Dirk stroked a thumb over a cheekbone, shifted his grip to trace back over the shell of his ear. “Tell me how it feels in you.” Gamzee opened his mouth, made a little uncertain noise, and Dirk toyed with his earlobe. “Go on, sweetheart. You can do it. I know you can. You’re doing so good for me.”

Gamzee's eyes shuttered closed and he made a breathy hum of pleasure. He took another few breaths, opened his eyes and focused on Dirk like the sight of him was a lifeline.

“Feels good,” he managed after a minute. “'S a lot. 'S weird. But. Good.” Tipping his head back against Dirk’s grip, he shivered again, hips shifting just a little.

“Good,” Dirk said, “very good. I’d really like to fuck your mouth. Would you like that?”

Gamzee whined out loud. “ _Please_ , yeah,” he panted after a noticeably briefer pause, eyes flicking down to Dirk's opened pants, his all but untouched dick, and back up again, hungry and focused. Dirk licked his lips at that urgency, the way Gamzee shifted and squirmed but still waited for his word.

Dirk slid the hand in Gamzee’s hair further back, taking up a hold at the back of his skull. He used his other hand to brush fingertips over Gamzee’s lips, before dropping the hand to his knee. “Well?” Dirk asked, and was almost startled by how low his voice had fallen. He leaned back against the headboard, letting his legs spread farther, urging Gamzee forward with light pressure. “If you want it, help yourself.”

Gamzee folded over, one hand grabbing for Dirk's dick, lips wrapping around the head of it and sliding down, tongue flicking and rubbing in all the right places. He moaned as he did, low and sweet, hips shifting and twitching as the plug buzzed on.

“ _Shit_ ,” Dirk said with feeling. His hand tightened in Gamzee’s hair, encouraging. “Ah, fuck, sweetheart. Your gorgeous _mouth_.”

Gamzee hummed, hungry and appreciative, hand stroking up and down below his working mouth. He was moaning more and louder than usual, and it felt _amazing_ around Dirk’s dick, made his eyes flutter and haze as he fought not to look away from the pretty sight. He bit his lip hard, another note to the pleasure, and Gamzee’s satisfaction was coiling around him like a physical thing, like velvet ropes twisting against his skin, air gone thick and clinging as molasses, fit to drown in. 

“There you go,” Dirk breathed, “shit, there you go. ‘S this what you were waiting for? To be filled up proper and used just right?"

Gamzee whined aloud, free hand clawing at Dirk's thigh as he shuddered, hips bucking. Then he redoubled his efforts, sucking and licking and moaning again, working on Dirk like he'd been told to wring an orgasm out of him in the next two minutes flat.

It probably wasn't going to be that fast, but Dirk was beginning to think it might not take _much_ longer. He closed his eyes, opened them again, huffed for air. Felt like he was drowning, felt like there wasn’t anything left _but_ Gamzee and this urgent, heated thing between them. 

“Fuck, yeah, sweetheart. Just--ah--j-just like that. Can feel you, can feel how much you like that. Like being-- _mine_.” Dirk’s hips drove up and Gamzee moved with him, made a noise like he might come right there. Dirk slid a hand down, hooked two fingers in the collar. Brought his other hand round to touch Gamzee’s cheek, still babbling. “Good. You're so good. C’mon, let me hear you, sweetheart.”

Gamzee moaned, strained and desperate. He kept his hand moving as he took his mouth off Dirk and looked up at him, pressing into his hand. “I'm--I--gon’--c-can I--?”

Dirk tugged the collar a little tighter, held that face upturned so he could look into those dark, dazed eyes. “Do it,” he breathed, an order, a wish.

Gamzee made a soft, shaky noise, eyes widening on Dirk's face. His mouth opened, but no words came out, just a shivering breath that got louder, harsher, until it cut off as his eyes closed and his hand fell still, his body jerking and tightening in waves. The resonance was all shocks of pleasure.

Dirk sucked in a shaky breath, everything gone hazy and golden, and thought for a minute that echoed pleasure might be enough to bring him to his peak. He tipped his head back, on the edge and urgent as the tide washed away again, and then Gamzee was moving clumsily forward, lips closing around him again, taking him back into that wet heat.

“God, oh, angel, sweetheart,” and Dirk wasn’t sure if he was speaking aloud or if that was Hal, everything felt surreal and dreamlike. And good, so good, _you’re so good angel, just like that, take it just like that_. Dirk sighed and gasped, breath stuttering, eyes pressed closed and hips moving, Gamzee’s little noises sweet in his ears. He petted at dark coils of hair, sank fingers into it like his only anchor, murmuring praise and endearments and half-voiced cries as he rocked into that mouth until he finally could tip blissfully over the edge.

Gamzee's tongue kept working him through the shivery aftershocks until Dirk let out a hard breath and patted him, urging him up. Gamzee unfolded enough to thud his forehead down on Dirk's shoulder and whimpered, discomfort threading through the still sweet haze of the resonance. His body was more tense than it should be post-orgasm, shifting and twitching--right. Duh.

“Shh.” Dirk eased Gamzee back, tipping him onto the mattress and stroking soothing hands along his skin, reaching back to find the plug’s switch and stop it buzzing, at which Gamzee let out a breath and slumped all over. Hal was around beside him now, shadow hands threading into his hair, curled in close to murmur soothing nonsense as Dirk eased the plug carefully out.

Gamzee hissed softly, then relaxed even further and smiled dreamily up at Dirk. “Fuck,” he murmured, and reached for Dirk's shoulder, tugging gently to pull him down on top.

“Correct,” Dirk mumbled back, snuggling and sighing. “‘S good?”

“Mm,” Gamzee hummed, all contentment and that low, steady current of happiness. Eyes closed, he nestled into Dirk, by all appearances completely pleased to pass out right here.

That sounded just about perfect. Dirk fought against that dragging undertow of exhaustion. “Y’r all sticky. I should. Gotta get you cleaned up.”

Gamzee made a protesting noise and clung as he tried to pull away, tousled head lifting to give him an anxious look. “Oh,” Dirk sighed again, and leaned his forehead in against Gamzee’s. “No, c’mon, sweetheart. Be right back.”

Gamzee reluctantly relaxed his grip, but the anxious look only intensified as he lay back, watching Dirk.

Dirk hesitated, and then the loop of shadow Kurloz had held around them this whole time shifted, one dark branch curling up over Dirk's back, cool and prickling against his skin as the resonance strengthened. _Motherfucker, settle your ass down and stay you where you’re *put.*_

Oh. Dirk blinked, shivered, and settled obediently back against Gamzee. Across from him, Hal was a little more alert, attention focused on Kurloz, but waiting, thoughtful. Unprotesting at the sudden display of force.

The fierce prickle of power soothed to something softer and more indulgent against Dirk’s skin. _My brother's need of the certainty of you just yet,_ Kurloz went on, _no logic to him in this state, naught to stay his fear but your presence. A little mess holds no weight by that._

Dirk blinked dozily, trying to decide if that made sense. Gamzee was all but purring in his arms. It was nice. 

This was nice.

_Go to sleep, little lovetoy, sweet little treasured morsel. Cast yourself careless into the abyss of dreams, no need for fear. None can offer you threat of harm, for there's none more perilous than I, standing guard over what's mine._

Dirk sank down against Gamzee, eyes closing as Kurloz went on murmuring sweet, terrifying endearments.

_...Claws dug down in your soul, I have you here, and here I very well will keep you, mine and my precious brother's, ours to hold and enjoy, ours to break or protect…_

Yes, good. Dirk slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> curlicue is taking [asks](http://curlicuecal.tumblr.com/ask) on her tumblr, come say hi! can mostly find previous asks under the [shadowbound au](http://curlicuecal.tumblr.com/tagged/shadowbound-au) tag


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